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Posts by moongtajoo
Joined: Feb 20, 2012
Last Post: Mar 8, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Korea, Republic of

Displayed posts: 6
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moongtajoo   
Mar 8, 2012
Undergraduate / 'study about the lithium-ion batteries' - Transfer: University of Pennsylvania [NEW]

Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community? (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words.)

Over the past two years away from the school, I became fascinated with the energy technology. Small changes in the environment, such as new installation of solar panels in my apartment or hybrid cars cruising on the road, offered me the time to think about the importance of renewable energy resources in the near future. And I found it exciting to let myself into this energy technology and work with it. I became particularly fascinated with the energy storage systems, like lithium-ion batteries and fuel cells. The challenges of developing more efficient energy storing triggered my curiosity to learn more about it. This is now what I intend to study in college.

I decided to transfer to University of Pennsylvania, because regarding my current academic level and passion in energy technology Penn offers most suitable engineering curriculum and research opportunities that are closely matched to my interest. Penn's focus on material researches, as revealed in the laboratory for Research on the Structure of Matter and Interdisciplinary Research Groups, will be a great opportunity to learn about the new nanoparticles that are the core technology for building energy capturing cells.

I particularly hope to work in Professor Winey's Research Group for designing new nanocomposites and ion-containing polymers will be a good start to understand the fundamental mechanism of battery technology. Understanding the behaviors of electrodes in different polymers and improving the electrical conductivity will play critical roles in battery technology, and by participating her research group, I will gain professional skills in my research interest. In addition, Professor Lee's layer-by-layer assembly of functional thin films will offer me a different way to approach the energy storage system.

As I reach to the upper level, I hope to engage in a research on the lithium-ion battery. I hope to study about the effects of the stress caused by lithium of silicon electrodes during the lithiation and find out the ways to reduce the stress while increasing the battery efficiency. With Penn's excellent research facilities and the skills gained through Professor Winey and Lee's research groups, I am confident that I will succeed in making a progress for the lithium-ion battery research.

My unique military experience and the UN peacekeeping operation will bring more diversity to UPENN, and my passion in energy technology will make synergy effects to the campus as I participate in various organizations and researches. But more importantly, my research in lithium-ion battery will bring a fresh research interest to the Penn community and the school will find out more about the lithium-ion battery technology. This will add another energy cells research besides Dr.Gorte's solid oxide fuel cells researches or Penenergy's research on future renewable energy resources.

Upon graduation from Penn, I will further study about the lithium-ion batteries. With a solid academic foundation from Penn's engineering and business insight, I hope to launch a new manufacturing company in Southeast Asia and produce the cost-effective lithium-ion batteries in later life. This is my long-term goal in my life, but I am confident that I can achieve my dream with the support of University of Pennsylvania.

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Can anyone help me out to make it flow more naturally? Please do not hesitate to make corrections...
Thanks
moongtajoo   
Mar 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Learning a foreign language while living in one's own country [3]

Some suggestions that might help
1) make paragraphs:Intro, body1,2, and closing remark - Your essay has to be more organized
2) do not use colloquial words too often - Get rid of "maybe", "For the first time", "it's -> it is", "well", etc
moongtajoo   
Mar 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'improving facilities is the best way' - toefl [2]

Yes, there are subtle differences on those words. They depend on the contents.
I took toefl three years ago, and I highly suggest to use those words on the test, because they are not going to spare time to understand every word and meanings.

It is better to use different kinds of words, showing that you know some vocab.
So, go for it, only in toefl though...
I hope that helps
moongtajoo   
Feb 29, 2012
Undergraduate / 'researches for Mechanics of Solids' - Why Brown appeals to you as a college option? [5]

Please tell us more about your interest in transferring: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

What makes Brown special is its academic excellence in both engineering and liberal arts program. It is not a technology-centered institute that primarly focuses on engineering or the pure liberal arts school that often lacks the engineering program. Instead, at Brown I can study about energy technologies by choosing chemical engineering major with Materials Processing and Synthesis specialization. At the same time, I can keep my interest in environmental issues by working with Environmental Studies. As I build my career path on engineering with the the environmental studies, I believe I will become more well-rounded and pertain diverse perspectives on my interests.

More specifically, Brown's world-renowned professors are heavily engaged in researches for Mechanics of Solids. It comes to me a positive indicator, because researches on the behaviors of solid and nano-particles match to my interest. Dr.Grudu and Sheldon's lithium-ion battery and Dr.Pacifici's photovoltaic solar cell researches will help me to enhance my interest in energy storage systems. In relation to the liberal arts education, Brown' Energy, Climate, and Global Change program from Environmental Studies will help me to be more aware on the political and environmental issues that are related to the energy technologies.

I highly respect Brown's diversity in student body and its favorable location to big cities such as New York and Boston. However, after spending two years in the military and coming into Brown as a transfer, I hope to focus more on the academics. It does not mean that I will not participate in student organizations or communities. Instead, I will continue to play soccer in a competitive level and join in clubs such as Engineers without Borders and Global Extensions Club to have more balanced, enjoyable, and meaningful life.

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It is difficult how to end... please help me out
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