Scholarship / 'After silence is music' - Music Scholarship Essay [3]

Hey everyone! I'm looking for advice on this essay. I feel as though it is pretty strong, but I need some help on the ending. Also, I'm considering reformatting the first paragraph to something more catchy.

Essay - On a separate sheet of paper write a short essay (from 250 to 500 words) on why you chose to major in music industry studies, what career you envision pursuing after graduation, and why you want to pursue it.

Aldous Huxley once said, "After silence, which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible, is music." Music has created a world of evolving talent that extends beyond the mere existence of entertainment. It is an artist's way of life; it is their oxygen. This inspiring drive and motivation which these artists encompass is my sole purpose for entering into this industry.

When I decided to pursue a degree in Music Industry Studies, my goal was to gain a well-rounded knowledge of this business. I wanted to better understand the educational foundation and obligations of the artists, managers, and lawyers in this industry; California State University, Northridge's MIS program prepared me for just that. The program incorporates a blend of both the art of music and the discipline of business, while giving the student the tools to become successful.

After graduation, I intend to pursue a Juris Doctorate degree, specializing in Entertainment Law. I hope to expand the artists opportunities by accentuating their talents and negotiating their contracts to their maximum potential. My ultimate goal is to ensure the artist feels secure in their contract, while still having the freedom to express themselves musically. My passion for this industry is not only in the music itself, but in the unique ability behind the art.

I am a motivated and committed young individual who is not afraid to fight for something I believe in. Being accepted for this award, will not only guide a path for a successful future, but will be a significant stepping stone towards attaining my goals.