Scholarship / Why do you consider yourself a suitable candidate (career in the field of science) [2]

How can I make my essay more convincing and strong...Please help me strengthen my essay.

The first time I ever recognized my academic talents among the competitive students of the valley was the moment when I came across an entrance examination after I passed my SLC. Inspite of my high SLC scores, I had never boasted of my marks. What I felt was marks don't matter if you have creativity and talents. If you obtain low scores but yet can show the master skills in what you do, you are never considered an average. The entrance was not as easy as the terminal exams and was all about exploring your out knowledge and your critical thinking abilities.

When I was notified that I had gone through the examination and more than that I was the topper of the exam, I was very glad. It was then that I felt much about my studies. I was awarded with the full fee waiver for 2 years which could have account to $2500. The very amount could have been a hardship to my father to pay off. Infact it was a an economic supplement for my father's income. Since then, I started studying sincerely. On the one hand I gave time to my studies and on the other hand to assist the family's finances I started giving tutions to lower socondary students. I am always interested in learning something new and understanding a little bit more of the world. My interest in science led me to success in various academic and non academic competions. As the time passed by, I discovered that making changes and creating something new was where I wanted to be. In the area of leadership, I have worked 3 years an a class representative and have most of the times leaded my team in number of quiz contests and science exhibitions. I have volunteered various campaigns being an enthusiastic member of School Red Cross member. Being ranked a number two in my institution, I tutor my friends with difficulties in many subject areas.

Consistent with my belief in practice, though not always the winner I never give up to participate in any kinds of programs and contests. My closed eyes always dream of perfection and my open eyes are striving for the excellence. Thanks to my dedication to science, I have discovered a sense of being nearer to my achievement. Moreover, I have also found over past few years to cultivate skills and interests in the related fields. However, due to my family's income which is way less than the educational expenses at the US universities, I sometimes get distracted from my goal which I need to achieve.

Thus, looking at the lack of finances but sound academic and extracurricular background, I consider myself a good candidate for the Opportunity Funding Pragram. This program would definitely help me to pursue my career in the field of science and engineering.

Thanks in advance

Writing Feedback / 'blessed by uncle for being so alert' - The greatest achievement of my life [3]

It is said that it's not the destination but the journey that is important. Only time can tell where our lives are destined towards but we must make sure that our journey is enjoyable; full of hardships but enjoyable nonetheless. Achievements are most of the times the part of our beautiful memories and mine too are no exceptions.

Even today, when I gaze outside the window of my compartment, the memories of the incident strike my brain and make me feel proud of what I had done few years back. Together with my friends, I used to celebrate the weekends, play cricket at the nearby ground, gossip all around. It was in front of my house, laid the outfield of my lovely cricket ground. Early Saturday morning, one day, during the course of our play, one of my companions was fielding at the deep. When he saw the ball coming towards him, he jumped to stop the boundary but couldn't. It was then that he pushed himself into an open well. What I saw was a real shock for me. I just couldn't move for a second. Then I hurriedly dashed towards the well. I had not much to think about as I wrapped myself with the rope attached to the pulley and jumped down the narrow well. My friend was deep down crying and whimpering. I grab him with my arms and shouted and screamed but no one seemed to hear. When I gave my sight to the sky, I found two of my companions, trying to pull the rope. Finally we were out of the hell. We had not much casualties but he had few cracks and wounds in his legs and arms. Meanwhile the surrounding terribly messed up. Lot of people gathered within few seconds. Everyone growled over the owner of that well. Some were trying to give comfort to the victim. However it was not the time for sympathy.

Without thinking much, I then took him to a nearby hospital. After letting him lay down the hospital bed, I hurriedly dialed his papa's number. It was answered after two rings. He sounded horribly nervous and anxious but I notified him that there was nothing to worry about. Doctor informed me that everything would be alright but he time and again warned us to be careful while playing. Meanwhile my friend's papa came and examined his son. Then we took him to home and allowed him to rest. All and all, I was blessed by uncle for being so alert and quick to save his son. However, more than that I was blessed by my own soul that I saved one's life.

Remembering that very day, today too my eyes moisten and before I could realize, I start crying. I really feel proud of my ability, bravery and most important of all my friendship that turned out to be the greatest achievement of my life.