brown159
May 2, 2012
Writing Feedback / The Dangers of Obesity in the United States [2]
Feedback and editing if possible!
3 weaknesses of the essay
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The Dangers of Obesity in the United States
Obesity is a case of the body having more than average fattiness. Obesity can be caused from a variety of sources, but are mainly linked to unhealthy diets and a lack of physical exercise. Obesity did not become a problem in the United States until the 1980s when the rate of obesity nearly doubled. This dramatic change included several factors including larger food portions, less technological luxuries, and vehicular transportation was less common. Today, obesity floods the streets of America; more than 25% of Americans are considered obese. It is shown that there is a correlation between obesity and Americans who eat fast food. With exercise and physical fitness playing less of a part in the daily American life, it is imperative that people avoid fast food because it is a leading contributer to obesity and health problems amongst Americans.
Becoming obese is detrimental to American's in this day and age. So many citizens have been diagnosed with this disease which increases their chance of many other harmful diseases which could be fatal. Diabetes is most commonly found in obesity. It is described as the abnormally high amount of glucose levels found in blood. This could mean that sugar levels in the blood are either too high or too low causing one to get weak or tired. This specific disease has no cure but can be managed with insulin and medications. Another harmful disease commonly seen throughout obesity is heart failure. This malfunction occurs when the heart has rhythm problems, infections or defects when born. Forms of heart disease can be treated or even prevented with practicing a healthy lifestyle. Heart disease and cardiovascular disease share a direct correlation relating to blocked or narrowed blood vessels in the body which can be fatal. These few diseases can be prevented if treated in the early stages of obesity.
The obesity epidemic has turned American citizens to the health care providers. The alarming costs of obesity over the last two decades have increased from 8% to 38% in 2007 spending per capita for obese to normal weight adults (CBO). The prevalence of obesity continues to climb because of demographic changes around the United States. It seems that health care providers have raised the rates for all citizens to make up for the high price of obesity treatment. The economic and budget issue brief states that "Health care spending per adult (in 2009 dollars) rose close to 80 percent from 1987 to 2007, from about $2,560 to $4,550," Many reasons could be behind why health care has gone up so quickly in the last 20 years. The correlation between obesity rates and the health care escalation seem to coincide, showing American citizens just where their money is being spent.
Feedback and editing if possible!
3 weaknesses of the essay
_____________________________
The Dangers of Obesity in the United States
Obesity is a case of the body having more than average fattiness. Obesity can be caused from a variety of sources, but are mainly linked to unhealthy diets and a lack of physical exercise. Obesity did not become a problem in the United States until the 1980s when the rate of obesity nearly doubled. This dramatic change included several factors including larger food portions, less technological luxuries, and vehicular transportation was less common. Today, obesity floods the streets of America; more than 25% of Americans are considered obese. It is shown that there is a correlation between obesity and Americans who eat fast food. With exercise and physical fitness playing less of a part in the daily American life, it is imperative that people avoid fast food because it is a leading contributer to obesity and health problems amongst Americans.
Becoming obese is detrimental to American's in this day and age. So many citizens have been diagnosed with this disease which increases their chance of many other harmful diseases which could be fatal. Diabetes is most commonly found in obesity. It is described as the abnormally high amount of glucose levels found in blood. This could mean that sugar levels in the blood are either too high or too low causing one to get weak or tired. This specific disease has no cure but can be managed with insulin and medications. Another harmful disease commonly seen throughout obesity is heart failure. This malfunction occurs when the heart has rhythm problems, infections or defects when born. Forms of heart disease can be treated or even prevented with practicing a healthy lifestyle. Heart disease and cardiovascular disease share a direct correlation relating to blocked or narrowed blood vessels in the body which can be fatal. These few diseases can be prevented if treated in the early stages of obesity.
The obesity epidemic has turned American citizens to the health care providers. The alarming costs of obesity over the last two decades have increased from 8% to 38% in 2007 spending per capita for obese to normal weight adults (CBO). The prevalence of obesity continues to climb because of demographic changes around the United States. It seems that health care providers have raised the rates for all citizens to make up for the high price of obesity treatment. The economic and budget issue brief states that "Health care spending per adult (in 2009 dollars) rose close to 80 percent from 1987 to 2007, from about $2,560 to $4,550," Many reasons could be behind why health care has gone up so quickly in the last 20 years. The correlation between obesity rates and the health care escalation seem to coincide, showing American citizens just where their money is being spent.