meonhi266
May 5, 2012
Writing Feedback / A rich person must be happier than a poor person [4]
Hi All,
Can you please check my TOEFL essay and correct it? AND
I am confused about this type of essays and my confusion is when we get such questions like, ".Do you agree or disagree with the statement?" Is it compulsory that you have to agree OR disagree only? Because some subjects are like you cannot explain exactly such as below given subject. I cannot completely agree or disagree. Please help me and tel me Is this the proper way to answer such essay?
A rich person must be happier than a poor person
In my experience, I have found poor people are happier than the rich.
In my analysis, this is due to the following reason.
Happiness is higher with higher ability and lower expectations. The poor mostly know their limitations and learn to keep their expectations under reasonable control. The rich, on the other hand, know their ability and as a result allow their expectations to be higher. That in itself should result equal chance of happiness or unhappiness for both. But the rich suffer from another malady. Their being rich makes them proud and egoistic which further boosts their expectations of themselves. Thus the rich end up with much higher level of expectations than warranted by their richness as such. This therefore tilts the balance against their favor.
The above is indeed a generality which is never immune to exceptions. For instance, there can be some rich people who learn their lesson and do not allow the fact of their being rich to make them too proud or egoistic. On the other hand, there can also be some poor people who despite their poverty continue to rate themselves much higher than warranted and thus end up with disproportionately higher expectations of themselves leading to unhappiness. However, my observation shows that the generality stated above is valid since the exceptions are indeed few and far between. I'm very jealous of rich people, getting to buy everything they want, without having to even looking at the price tag and getting all worried. But then again sometimes I am happy, just to see my family and friends being there, even if I can't have that beautiful blouse from Clavin Klein.
Hi All,
Can you please check my TOEFL essay and correct it? AND
I am confused about this type of essays and my confusion is when we get such questions like, ".Do you agree or disagree with the statement?" Is it compulsory that you have to agree OR disagree only? Because some subjects are like you cannot explain exactly such as below given subject. I cannot completely agree or disagree. Please help me and tel me Is this the proper way to answer such essay?
A rich person must be happier than a poor person
In my experience, I have found poor people are happier than the rich.
In my analysis, this is due to the following reason.
Happiness is higher with higher ability and lower expectations. The poor mostly know their limitations and learn to keep their expectations under reasonable control. The rich, on the other hand, know their ability and as a result allow their expectations to be higher. That in itself should result equal chance of happiness or unhappiness for both. But the rich suffer from another malady. Their being rich makes them proud and egoistic which further boosts their expectations of themselves. Thus the rich end up with much higher level of expectations than warranted by their richness as such. This therefore tilts the balance against their favor.
The above is indeed a generality which is never immune to exceptions. For instance, there can be some rich people who learn their lesson and do not allow the fact of their being rich to make them too proud or egoistic. On the other hand, there can also be some poor people who despite their poverty continue to rate themselves much higher than warranted and thus end up with disproportionately higher expectations of themselves leading to unhappiness. However, my observation shows that the generality stated above is valid since the exceptions are indeed few and far between. I'm very jealous of rich people, getting to buy everything they want, without having to even looking at the price tag and getting all worried. But then again sometimes I am happy, just to see my family and friends being there, even if I can't have that beautiful blouse from Clavin Klein.
