Letters / 'School of Science application is unsuccessful' - Need Advices for Appeal Letter [4]

See, First of all, the reason why you didnt get through is probably because of your english, and the improper grammar. How much did you score on your SAT?

Anyways, I'm editing the thing for you.

I was disappointed to find out that my application to School of Science WAS unsuccessful, since I personally think that I should have been offered a place to persuade(Dude, its Pursue, not persuade :p) my studies in biological sciences based on my A level( Level A, not A level) results. ..., see they dont care about what you think. You cant use phrases like "I want this, I want that." You have to be more professional. I sincerely hope that you can give me the chance to pursue study in NUS. Thank you very much for taking your time to re-evaluate my application.(You dont have to thank them, its their job)

A better line would have been "I hope that you would reconsider my application and counter your decision. Thanking you in anticipation"
Your's sincerely
Aayushi