brave
Dec 27, 2008
Undergraduate / Common short answer (Wenchuan Earthquak), content+grammar [6]
After Wenchuan Earthquake happened on May the twelfth in 2008, I organized a group of thirty motivated students to raise fund for the victims of the disaster in TianFu Square, where many people stood in silent tribute every day after the earthquake. We made deliberate plans and every person was charged with specific responsibilities. My responsibility was to come to passers-by and persuade them to donate money. To my joy, everyone was willing to donate money and write blessing on the paper and adhered it to the banner I prepared. In the same time, more and more people were attracted by our activity and many of them joined us. After days of hard work, we achieved remarkably. We raised 31860RMB and more than one thousand people wrote encouragement on the paper.
Please help me with this essay. I think it is a little boring.
After Wenchuan Earthquake happened on May the twelfth in 2008, I organized a group of thirty motivated students to raise fund for the victims of the disaster in TianFu Square, where many people stood in silent tribute every day after the earthquake. We made deliberate plans and every person was charged with specific responsibilities. My responsibility was to come to passers-by and persuade them to donate money. To my joy, everyone was willing to donate money and write blessing on the paper and adhered it to the banner I prepared. In the same time, more and more people were attracted by our activity and many of them joined us. After days of hard work, we achieved remarkably. We raised 31860RMB and more than one thousand people wrote encouragement on the paper.
Please help me with this essay. I think it is a little boring.