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Posts by sco2185312
Joined: Jun 24, 2012
Last Post: Jun 24, 2012
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From: United States of America

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sco2185312   
Jun 24, 2012
Writing Feedback / The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Truth of Antibiotics [2]

Overall I like the topic you chose and how you prevented it. Your use of citations from other references pertained to the topics at hand and strengthened your arguments. The areas in which you have room for improvement lie mostly in your grammar. There are a few situations where you missed a word, such as "in" or "for". If you re-read the essay you will probably find them. The main thing you could do to improve your essay, in my eyes, is reduce your number of run on sentences. You had numerous sentences that were too long and contained multiple thoughts that could be split into two separate sentences.

I feel that the words struck-out should be omitted, and changes of wording or additions of missing words are highlighted in red. The paragraph flows better by having "As Teddi Johnson explains" as the beginning of it's own sentence.

I hope that helps you along!
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