TinaGu
Jul 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay: Should government immunize people compulsively? [3]
Topic：Many deseases can now be prevented through the immunization and the governments make law to force people ger immunized. Should people be made by law to get immunized?
Recent years, many diseases have broken out and spread around the world. Because of this, governments of different countries have to force people to get immunized and even make law that people should obey. In my opinion, I think it is acceptable that the government immunizes people compulsively for the following reasons.
First of all, no one can deny that the governments are protecting the interest of the public. Immunizing people can decrease the infection and the probability of people getting ill can be lower. Besides, government wants to disroot the virus so that no more people will suffer from the sick feeling given by the illness. The most important thing is that government tries to prevent people from being carelessly infected with the virus and people from a lower class can also get immunized because the government covers the expense. These people don't need to worry about the cost. If everyone gets immunized, the virus can be destroyed effectively.
On the other hand, many people worry about the by-effects of the immunization, especially the negative reactions afterwards. But there is no need to worry, because government must have considered the negative reactions that may occur to a small number of people after the immunization. What's more, scientists and doctors must have precautions before the public take the immunization, so the probability of by-effects is low. Also, if the person has these harmful reactions, government will be responsible for it.
Obviously, as long as the safety of the immunization is ensured, more and more people will obey the law to get immunized.
please revise my ielts essay and give me your advise, I really need it to improve my writing skill. thank you very much!
Tina
Topic：Many deseases can now be prevented through the immunization and the governments make law to force people ger immunized. Should people be made by law to get immunized?
Recent years, many diseases have broken out and spread around the world. Because of this, governments of different countries have to force people to get immunized and even make law that people should obey. In my opinion, I think it is acceptable that the government immunizes people compulsively for the following reasons.
First of all, no one can deny that the governments are protecting the interest of the public. Immunizing people can decrease the infection and the probability of people getting ill can be lower. Besides, government wants to disroot the virus so that no more people will suffer from the sick feeling given by the illness. The most important thing is that government tries to prevent people from being carelessly infected with the virus and people from a lower class can also get immunized because the government covers the expense. These people don't need to worry about the cost. If everyone gets immunized, the virus can be destroyed effectively.
On the other hand, many people worry about the by-effects of the immunization, especially the negative reactions afterwards. But there is no need to worry, because government must have considered the negative reactions that may occur to a small number of people after the immunization. What's more, scientists and doctors must have precautions before the public take the immunization, so the probability of by-effects is low. Also, if the person has these harmful reactions, government will be responsible for it.
Obviously, as long as the safety of the immunization is ensured, more and more people will obey the law to get immunized.
please revise my ielts essay and give me your advise, I really need it to improve my writing skill. thank you very much!
Tina