bwang13
Jul 7, 2012
Undergraduate / 'dependant on computers and technology' - past circumstances and major choice [7]
Hi could someone help me review my essay? Thanks!
Prompt:
How have your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major? If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois. Please limit your response to approximately 300 words.
Draft:
Since I was a young boy, I have been surrounded by and dependant on computers and technology. A large majority of my childhood was spent on the computer, usually wasting my time playing online video games, chatting with my friends on AIM or downloading music. As I grew up and moved from to elementary school, to middle school, and eventually high school, the technology I had become accustomed to being around evolved and advanced with me. I remember getting my first cell phone, mp3 player, and many other new technologies throughout these years, each one more powerful, faster, and easier to obtain as the years progressed. Only recently have I truly started to appreciate the blistering face pace technology has been, and continues to grow at. Moore's Law, which describes the trend where processing power doubles approximately every two years, exemplifies just how fast our world is evolving and advancing into the future. After taking an introductory course in Java and computer science this year, I came to the realization that I too wanted to take part in this incredible era of technological growth while also pursuing a field I truly find gratifying. I clearly remember spending a lot of time out of class in middle school designing a game in a program called Scratch for my computer class. Although I did not realize it then, I really enjoyed designing and building something out of nothing. I would only come to fully realize how satisfying and exhilarating computer science is for me in my Java course junior year and I look forward to taking AP Computer Science this year as a senior. I am extremely excited to learn more about computer science so I can hopefully contribute to the exponential improvements that have been shaping the world in the past few decades. I believe the computer science program along with the abundant research and development opportunities at University of Illinois could really help me fulfill this goal.
Hi could someone help me review my essay? Thanks!
Prompt:
How have your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major? If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois. Please limit your response to approximately 300 words.
Draft:
Since I was a young boy, I have been surrounded by and dependant on computers and technology. A large majority of my childhood was spent on the computer, usually wasting my time playing online video games, chatting with my friends on AIM or downloading music. As I grew up and moved from to elementary school, to middle school, and eventually high school, the technology I had become accustomed to being around evolved and advanced with me. I remember getting my first cell phone, mp3 player, and many other new technologies throughout these years, each one more powerful, faster, and easier to obtain as the years progressed. Only recently have I truly started to appreciate the blistering face pace technology has been, and continues to grow at. Moore's Law, which describes the trend where processing power doubles approximately every two years, exemplifies just how fast our world is evolving and advancing into the future. After taking an introductory course in Java and computer science this year, I came to the realization that I too wanted to take part in this incredible era of technological growth while also pursuing a field I truly find gratifying. I clearly remember spending a lot of time out of class in middle school designing a game in a program called Scratch for my computer class. Although I did not realize it then, I really enjoyed designing and building something out of nothing. I would only come to fully realize how satisfying and exhilarating computer science is for me in my Java course junior year and I look forward to taking AP Computer Science this year as a senior. I am extremely excited to learn more about computer science so I can hopefully contribute to the exponential improvements that have been shaping the world in the past few decades. I believe the computer science program along with the abundant research and development opportunities at University of Illinois could really help me fulfill this goal.
