DanielGonzalez
Aug 31, 2012
Undergraduate / "Like father, like son" - : Someone who's made an impact in your life? [2]
I have just today found the gold mine that is this website, as far as assistance essay corrections and ideas! I've spent perhaps the last 2 hours reading essays all over the board, and have decided that this is the community I would like to ask for help.
This essay, I wrote about a year ago, at the start of my AP English IV course a required assignment. The topic happens to be one of the required topics in my college application. It is quite clear that there are a few grammatical errors and the essay in it's entirety is quite unpolished, and perhaps lacking in complex vocabulary and that those are things I'd like to work on. I'd be so extremely open to and grateful for any opinions as far as corrections, ideas for inclusion or exclusion, etc. I wouldn't be angry if you told me to scrap it because it stinks either :P
The expression "Like father, like son" perfectly parallels the relationship between my father and me. This man has made an incredible impact in my life, particularly during my formative years, and I sincerely hope I am able to provide my own with the same amount of respect and unconditional love. While he may fit the stereotypical description of a "good father", there are so many things about him that make him unique, and that make me never want to replace him with anybody else.
Ever since I was little, he always made sure that I grew up knowing how to treat my neighbors. He was always concerned with the way I treated others. From quoting passages from the Holy Bible and teaching me the golden rule at the age of 3 to setting the example himself, he always made sure I was never unnecessarily harsh to anyone.
He was also very big on moral values. The very first lesson I received from him in this topic was about honesty. I remember stealing a small toy at a mom-and-pop shop when I was approximately 7 years old. Instead of grounding me for a long time like most parents would, he made me go back to the store, return the toy, and apologize for having done what I did. Needless to say, I noticed that from then on, the store owners looked up to me much more, and while it may seem somewhat ironic, they actually started to trust me. To this day, much of the respect I have for my father comes from this very one event. My father really likes to listen. When I show up very upset, he has me sit down and just vent, rant, or let it all out. Then again he also respects my choices when I sometimes tell him that I don't want to discuss the issue.
One thing I particularly enjoy about him is that he is a thrill junkie. I remember finding this out when he took my on a tandem skydive just a few years ago. I recall being extremely scared, but knowing he was with me, I trusted nothing would happen. Since then we have also gone parasailing, paragliding, deep diving, BASE jumping, wing-suit flying, bungee jumping, amateur auto racing, you name it, we have done it all...together! Everything I know about automotive repair, tuning, and performance, I learned from him. I remember times when he would spend countless hours in the garage tinkering, building, or working on one thing or another. I became semi-curious and started asking questions such as "What do you use this tool for?" or "How does that part work?" Eventually I became as much of a gear-head as he is. I think my passion for flying also came from him. He's been a private pilot for over 20 years, and ever since I was little we would go on cross country flights about three or four times a year. The time came when he started teaching me the basics of flying. He'd put it on autopilot and let me sit in his lap and pretend I was flying the airplane myself. I consider him irreplaceable and hope we get to enjoy our father-son relationship for many years to come.
I have just today found the gold mine that is this website, as far as assistance essay corrections and ideas! I've spent perhaps the last 2 hours reading essays all over the board, and have decided that this is the community I would like to ask for help.
This essay, I wrote about a year ago, at the start of my AP English IV course a required assignment. The topic happens to be one of the required topics in my college application. It is quite clear that there are a few grammatical errors and the essay in it's entirety is quite unpolished, and perhaps lacking in complex vocabulary and that those are things I'd like to work on. I'd be so extremely open to and grateful for any opinions as far as corrections, ideas for inclusion or exclusion, etc. I wouldn't be angry if you told me to scrap it because it stinks either :P
The expression "Like father, like son" perfectly parallels the relationship between my father and me. This man has made an incredible impact in my life, particularly during my formative years, and I sincerely hope I am able to provide my own with the same amount of respect and unconditional love. While he may fit the stereotypical description of a "good father", there are so many things about him that make him unique, and that make me never want to replace him with anybody else.
Ever since I was little, he always made sure that I grew up knowing how to treat my neighbors. He was always concerned with the way I treated others. From quoting passages from the Holy Bible and teaching me the golden rule at the age of 3 to setting the example himself, he always made sure I was never unnecessarily harsh to anyone.
He was also very big on moral values. The very first lesson I received from him in this topic was about honesty. I remember stealing a small toy at a mom-and-pop shop when I was approximately 7 years old. Instead of grounding me for a long time like most parents would, he made me go back to the store, return the toy, and apologize for having done what I did. Needless to say, I noticed that from then on, the store owners looked up to me much more, and while it may seem somewhat ironic, they actually started to trust me. To this day, much of the respect I have for my father comes from this very one event. My father really likes to listen. When I show up very upset, he has me sit down and just vent, rant, or let it all out. Then again he also respects my choices when I sometimes tell him that I don't want to discuss the issue.
One thing I particularly enjoy about him is that he is a thrill junkie. I remember finding this out when he took my on a tandem skydive just a few years ago. I recall being extremely scared, but knowing he was with me, I trusted nothing would happen. Since then we have also gone parasailing, paragliding, deep diving, BASE jumping, wing-suit flying, bungee jumping, amateur auto racing, you name it, we have done it all...together! Everything I know about automotive repair, tuning, and performance, I learned from him. I remember times when he would spend countless hours in the garage tinkering, building, or working on one thing or another. I became semi-curious and started asking questions such as "What do you use this tool for?" or "How does that part work?" Eventually I became as much of a gear-head as he is. I think my passion for flying also came from him. He's been a private pilot for over 20 years, and ever since I was little we would go on cross country flights about three or four times a year. The time came when he started teaching me the basics of flying. He'd put it on autopilot and let me sit in his lap and pretend I was flying the airplane myself. I consider him irreplaceable and hope we get to enjoy our father-son relationship for many years to come.
