Undergraduate / CommonApp - '4 words that started a change' [4]

4 words that started a change

Loner, silent, geeky and couch potato. No, they are not the words that changed my life, and it's not what the school bully used to call me. It is how I would have labeled my introverted sixteen year old self.

My life changing moment had not been from inspiration, achievement or acts of kindness but from shame. I had the most humiliating moment of my life when I spoke in front of my school's assembly. The statement, 'I felt very happy' was what changed my life.

I was asked to give a few comments on how I felt when I won 2nd place in the "Bullet Chess" competition. "I felt very happy" was all I could utter with excitement. My English teacher reached for the microphone and questioned me for just saying a single sentence in front of guests and my classmates. I realized that all the eyes were staring at me as I slowly walked down the stage. I

In Myanmar, public humiliation is a huge thing for the Myanmar people (who are mostly shy and introverted). Hardly anyone would empathize and understand how I felt unless they have experienced it firsthand. Why did he have to embarrass me in front of everyone? Why not take me away from the assembly and give me the scolding I deserved? Why?

I kept wondering for days. The answer finally revealed itself when I realized that I still couldn't get the incident out of my head after a week. It was so remarkable that I used up hours of my sleeping time analyzing why he had to scold me in public. My teacher had made sure I was not going to forget sharing is an important aspect of life anytime soon. I figured it was time to replace my silence with my voice.

I started by changing my usual response of 'Up to you guys' to 'What about ...?', creating a lot of arguments between me and my friends as I was assumed to have an easy-going and reclusive nature in our group. Nevertheless, I got to understand my friends' beliefs and philosophies through more communication and felt closer to them. Only then I felt I was missing out on different perspectives that the people around me have. I felt a stronger sense of belonging to a group.

This incident made me realize the importance of communication and sharing of beliefs with my peers in the process of learning and socializing. It made me realize that resolving matters with silence is just giving up and giving in to other people's opinions. There might be times where silence is an option, but my voice would be my first choice. I am still an introvert. But loner, silent, geeky and couch potato? No. Adventurous, energized, chatty, and inspired is more like what I am now.