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Posts by xblindart
Joined: Jan 15, 2009
Last Post: Jan 15, 2009
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Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 2
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xblindart   
Jan 15, 2009
Undergraduate / University of California Transfer Personal Statement -The anatomy lab [3]

Although [I am] being a biology-major student, my love in design never stops.

...I felt so happy and proud of my work.
Use another word instead of happy.

I think this essay portrays your leadership and accomplishments well. Good job.
xblindart   
Jan 15, 2009
Undergraduate / UT ESSAY (Choose an issue of importance to you, education in Singapore) [3]

Wow I really enjoyed reading this essay. I personally see no need to make any changes within this. The only thing I would suggest to revise would be the very last sentence. "truly desperately" sounds a bit awkward and fake. Use another combination of words to portray more vivid feeling. Overall, however, this is a great essay.
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