Wolter
Nov 6, 2012
Research Papers / 'child support program' - research on welfare for ENG 102 [2]
I like the essay, great information, dont forget to cite your information that your putting out there, even if you are paraphrasing something, if it sounds "statistical" or something that you already didnt know yourself be sure to quote it.
I would recomend also changing all of your "it's, don't, does'nt, has'nt etc.. to it is, do not, does not, has not.. " a little tip for when you start writing in grad classes. They will get you on those!!
Your definetly a little all over the board when it comes to your facts and organization- Stick with one fact- quote it, then explain it all together. Then go to your next paragraph and do the same, pro's and cons can be in one paragraph especially so it is easier for the reader to not bounce around with all of the information. Great research and statistics I enjoyed reading the essay overall..
When I was reading this, there was a specific spot where you were talking about one of the welfares programs however it was the end of the sentence and it did not explain much about it, was just curious as to what program that was, as the reader anyway!
As I said, overall great essay and great work put into it.. I was wondering about the people that tend to abuse our systems and sale their food stamps and how they were trying to fix that situation, I did not know that, that is the reason they changed to the credit cards instead of the paper checks. Great INFO!!!
"When certain people are given welfare assistance they become accustom to its generosity and their state of mind changes from working hard to get what they needed to becoming lazy and dependent on the states for what they need. " I would change this ...becoming lazy and dependent on their state for what they need.. instead of the states, as every state is different.
Also the essay almost at the end sounds more argumentative/ pursasive opposed to strictly reasearch.. however I know you and many others feel the same way!
I like the essay, great information, dont forget to cite your information that your putting out there, even if you are paraphrasing something, if it sounds "statistical" or something that you already didnt know yourself be sure to quote it.
I would recomend also changing all of your "it's, don't, does'nt, has'nt etc.. to it is, do not, does not, has not.. " a little tip for when you start writing in grad classes. They will get you on those!!
Your definetly a little all over the board when it comes to your facts and organization- Stick with one fact- quote it, then explain it all together. Then go to your next paragraph and do the same, pro's and cons can be in one paragraph especially so it is easier for the reader to not bounce around with all of the information. Great research and statistics I enjoyed reading the essay overall..
When I was reading this, there was a specific spot where you were talking about one of the welfares programs however it was the end of the sentence and it did not explain much about it, was just curious as to what program that was, as the reader anyway!
As I said, overall great essay and great work put into it.. I was wondering about the people that tend to abuse our systems and sale their food stamps and how they were trying to fix that situation, I did not know that, that is the reason they changed to the credit cards instead of the paper checks. Great INFO!!!
"When certain people are given welfare assistance they become accustom to its generosity and their state of mind changes from working hard to get what they needed to becoming lazy and dependent on the states for what they need. " I would change this ...becoming lazy and dependent on their state for what they need.. instead of the states, as every state is different.
Also the essay almost at the end sounds more argumentative/ pursasive opposed to strictly reasearch.. however I know you and many others feel the same way!