purplepotato
Nov 11, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Good atmosphere' - What change to hometown more appealing to people your age? [4]
thank you very much : )
thank you very much : )
purplepotato
Nov 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Good atmosphere' - What change to hometown more appealing to people your age? [4]
Hi i'm going to take toefl next week. Please help me with this essay.
Thank you very much i'm really appreciate all the comments :D
What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
To make my hometown become a lovely destination to visit or a wonderful place to live in for people at my age, a lot of things need to be changed. First of all, I'm 20 years old and the common things that can appeal this age of people are the improvement in transportation such as bus service, internet and wifi services and education.
In my hometown, there are a lot of complex shopping malls that can attract many tourists and shoppers. However, it is quite hard for them to travel to those places since the public transportation is very poor. Although there are many buses in the urban and rural area, but it is pretty hard for people to find out which bus can take them to the destination as the information about the route of the bus is rarely given. Therefore, the public transportation should inform and guide people about the place that buses visit by creating map or call center.
Another change that will benefit my hometown is that government should facilitate free internet connection throughout the city. According to the fact that people at the age of 20 are categorized as tech- savvy people, so they can enjoy playing games, finding information and downloading stuff by using free internet wifi.
Other than that, government should provide better education in order to attract foreign students. For instance, they may offer exchange program to the university or scholar to the foreign students. This will benefit both parties. Foreign students will be able to experience good education that we provide; at the same time it is our chance to share some knowledge and culture with foreign students.
All the three recommendations are not only the way to raise standard of living, but also create a good atmosphere and make the city become a better place to live. After adopting all three recommendations, I strongly believe that it would make my hometown become the number one place that most of the people at my age would like to visit.
Thank you for reviewing my essay.
Hi i'm going to take toefl next week. Please help me with this essay.
Thank you very much i'm really appreciate all the comments :D
What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
To make my hometown become a lovely destination to visit or a wonderful place to live in for people at my age, a lot of things need to be changed. First of all, I'm 20 years old and the common things that can appeal this age of people are the improvement in transportation such as bus service, internet and wifi services and education.
In my hometown, there are a lot of complex shopping malls that can attract many tourists and shoppers. However, it is quite hard for them to travel to those places since the public transportation is very poor. Although there are many buses in the urban and rural area, but it is pretty hard for people to find out which bus can take them to the destination as the information about the route of the bus is rarely given. Therefore, the public transportation should inform and guide people about the place that buses visit by creating map or call center.
Another change that will benefit my hometown is that government should facilitate free internet connection throughout the city. According to the fact that people at the age of 20 are categorized as tech- savvy people, so they can enjoy playing games, finding information and downloading stuff by using free internet wifi.
Other than that, government should provide better education in order to attract foreign students. For instance, they may offer exchange program to the university or scholar to the foreign students. This will benefit both parties. Foreign students will be able to experience good education that we provide; at the same time it is our chance to share some knowledge and culture with foreign students.
All the three recommendations are not only the way to raise standard of living, but also create a good atmosphere and make the city become a better place to live. After adopting all three recommendations, I strongly believe that it would make my hometown become the number one place that most of the people at my age would like to visit.
Thank you for reviewing my essay.