Undergraduate / Not the most supportive father - UC prompt #1 [2]

I need critique and help with revisions for my UC personal statement. Any feedback will be appreciated.
Prompt:"Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."

"We had to put him into the Intensive Care Unit," the doctor said. I felt cold and chills run up my spine. My mother was speechless and her eyes were swollen red. I could not stand to see her sadness so I stepped out to the hallway. No tears came out of me as my eyes had already been dried out by two weeks' worth of crying. My father was diagnosed with pneumonia and his condition got worse every single day. It was too soon for him to go. I never had the chance to make him proud or ever hear him say "I love you" to me.

I grew up with a father who was never really supportive of my actions and said things that were very demoralizing.

"What are you? Stupid? You can't tie a knot? At your age I would wake up at five am to gather fire wood and you can't even do this?" As early as the age of eight, such words beat me down and made me feel useless like a broken penny. He also never really supported me, especially in academics and would prefer me to be working. I remember freshman year I got a 4.0 GPA and I was extremely excited as this could be my one chance to make him proud. He looked at my grades for a second, nodded his head, and reminded me of all the chores I had to do outside the next day. All I ever wanted to do was make him proud.

After a month in the hospital, my father finally got better. It was a slow recovery, almost 6 months, but he was back on his feet. The excitement I had to see him on his feet was immeasurable. It was during that time that I realized; I belonged in the medical field. I wanted to bring the same joy my father's doctor brought to me and give it to my future patients and their family. Shortly after, I came to the conclusion of becoming a Sports Physician because I had played soccer ever since I was seven. It was the best of both worlds as I could do something sports related which; I love, and combine it with the medical field.

With my arms holding my knees to my chest while sitting down on the hospital floor, I promised something to myself. A single tear fell down my cheek as I thought what I would do different from now on. I would focus a lot more in school to be able to get into college and from there on acquire a successful career. Life is too short so I made sure to dream big. I am determined to reach my goals and one day hear him say, "I am proud of, son."

Undergraduate / 'My nutrition, sleep, and mind transformation' - my UC personal statement prompt #2 [NEW]

Prompt: "Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

Check for grammar usage and content. Also help improve my vocabulary as sometimes my vocab can be weak. Overall please give me your opinion and how I can improve it. Thanks

Sweat was rolling down from my face like rain and I was breathing heavy as if I just ran a marathon. I was vascular, veins visible throughout my body and muscles looking defined and swollen with blood. I stepped on the scale at the gym and saw 140. I finally reached my target weight that I had worked all summer for. I felt a way I had never experienced before. It was like a "high" that no drug could ever provide. I had reached an ideal physique of big muscles and low body fat. I was ripped.

It all started when I got a girlfriend at the beginning of my junior year. One year later of taking her out to eat and baking cakes and I reached 168 pounds. I decided to change my body the first day of summer because I knew I was heading towards an unhealthy lifestyle. I came across Bodybuilding.com and educated myself on proper nutrition, the importance of sleep, and effective training.

Nutrition, sleep, and training all work synergistically in bodybuilding, so I made sure I paid crucial attention to each one to attain the best results. Throughout my transformation I ate clean foods such as chicken, fish, and brown rice every two-three hours. I also went to the gym every day for an hour session of weight or cardiovascular training. When my day was over I slept at least eight hours so my muscles could recover and have energy for the next workout. This transformation was difficult, but I had to stay determined if I wanted to succeed. Many times I felt like skipping the gym, having a slice of pizza, or stopping early on a set because of the pain in my muscles .I had to dig deep down inside myself and keep pushing until the end so I would not fall short of my goal. Each day for two and a half months, I was strict on my diet, training, and sleep, because I was determined to reach my goal.

Reaching my goal proved to me that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. With determination, there are no barriers. I am a determined individual that betters myself by overcoming obstacles. Throughout my journey I was so determined, that I did not let myself make any excuse to quit; even if it meant going to the gym at 5am because of a busy day ahead of me or not hanging out with friends to avoid eating out and get my rest. This experience has given me more determination to try new things and succeed at them.

With a grin and one last look at my reflection, I wiped the sweat off my face and headed out towards the door. I was all smiles as I pushed opened the door to the world. I felt confident and on top of the world. My excitement transferred to thoughts about senior year and college. I have three words for it. Bring it on.