JZL159
Nov 28, 2012
Undergraduate / UC Personal statement; I come from an "stereotypical" Asian family [2]
Prompt #1:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Essay:
I come from an Asian family that many would say is stereotypical. My parents would be disappointed to see a B on my report card and then pester me about why there was a B on my report card; but from my parents bothering me about my grades caused me to work hard and do my best to get an A. My family is not very rich therefore my parents could not buy many luxury items, only necessities; for this reason we could not buy things for entertainment, until one day my parents bought a computer and that was how it all started.
Growing up there was not much to entertain myself with, so usually my days were spent playing outside with my cousin, but when I could not go outside I would play on the computer. My favorite memory from my childhood was spending hours playing "The Sims", which was a game where you could control people and what they did even after they died and became a ghost. My most unforgettable memory was when one of the family members died and then had him try to scare the other family members, but they were not scared they just ignored him and thought it was comical that they just ignored a ghost of their family member. To me it was mind blowing that I could control people and even the supernatural on my computer monitor with just a mouse and keyboard. This is what first sparked my interest in technology.
From then on, technology has always interested me and strived to learn more. At the age of 11 YouTube was nonexistent to me and learning about my computer on my own was the only thing I could do. Then video and picture editing programs, such as Sony Vegas and Photoshop, started to interest me, but these programs were too expensive, so I found alternatives that were almost identical and free. At first it was a bit confusing, but eventually I learned to use them and then used it to edit pictures and videos. Using newly obtained knowledge of Photoshop I borrowed my cousin's camera to take pictures of people and then uploaded the pictures to my computer to crop their heads onto a cartoon character's body. With my new video editing knowledge I took some best scenes from my favorite cartoon series, put them all into one video, and it ended up being about 4 minutes long, when it actually took me almost a month of editing to put together. I felt pride in this accomplishment and then showed the video to my parents and they told me how amazing it was and it made me feel like I could accomplish more.
Throughout the years my love of technology grew, I read and watched videos about computers and computer software, which expanded my knowledge of computers. I learned how to put basic parts into my computer, like putting in more RAM, or random access memory, to make my computer faster, but I never got to actually put parts into my computer because my parents did not have the money. Learning more about computers has brought two new goals are for me: to someday build my own computer from parts and develop my own software.
For these reasons, I have decided to major in computer science and one day a software engineer. I want to become a software engineer because having the feeling of I helped make that game would be the best feeling in the world to me. Throughout my life, technology helped me develop the person I am today. It is only fitting that I return the favor and help technology grow.
Prompt #2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Essay:
Each person has personal qualities makes them unique. Most people have many personal qualities that define them, but there is usually one quality that sticks out more than the others and expresses the person they are. For me, I believe that quality is my positive outlook in everything I do.
Most people would not consider a positive outlook their best personal quality, but without it, all the difficult tasks of life would be lingering around me. When I do my homework or chores, I just tell myself that homework is good practice for the upcoming test or doing chores is a good work out. It also relieves things that would stress me out like bad grades; with bad grades I know there will be other tests and they can counter act that bad grade.
One event made me appreciate optimism even more. It was in the seventh grade, it was a normal day until I saw her; I went over and talked to her and after a couple of months we became friends. We became really close friends I started to have feeling for her, so I decided to ask her out. It turns out that was not such a great idea; she told me she wanted to be just friends and had a crush on a close friend of mine. I acted like everything was fine, but on the inside I was heartbroken. When I got home I went for a walk and that is when my optimistic quality helped me. I told myself in life there will be plenty of ups and downs, this was just one of the bad days and there is always tomorrow, a brand new day with a brand new start.
My hopeful perspective makes me proud because it has helped me overcome obstacles that would haunt me and hinder my abilities. Optimism makes me an unstoppable force that can overcome any problem and continue with my life. That is the kind of person I am, kindhearted, I love helping and cheering up others. A positive outlook makes it so I can enjoy the small things in life like when I find money that I did not know I had in my pocket or a hilarious joke my friend told me. My optimism is what motivates me to work towards my dreams and gives me strength to work hard day in and day out; to me my positive outlook will always be my best quality that I will always cherish.
Please help, with grammar, spelling or and anything to improve either of my essays.
Prompt #1:
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Essay:
I come from an Asian family that many would say is stereotypical. My parents would be disappointed to see a B on my report card and then pester me about why there was a B on my report card; but from my parents bothering me about my grades caused me to work hard and do my best to get an A. My family is not very rich therefore my parents could not buy many luxury items, only necessities; for this reason we could not buy things for entertainment, until one day my parents bought a computer and that was how it all started.
Growing up there was not much to entertain myself with, so usually my days were spent playing outside with my cousin, but when I could not go outside I would play on the computer. My favorite memory from my childhood was spending hours playing "The Sims", which was a game where you could control people and what they did even after they died and became a ghost. My most unforgettable memory was when one of the family members died and then had him try to scare the other family members, but they were not scared they just ignored him and thought it was comical that they just ignored a ghost of their family member. To me it was mind blowing that I could control people and even the supernatural on my computer monitor with just a mouse and keyboard. This is what first sparked my interest in technology.
From then on, technology has always interested me and strived to learn more. At the age of 11 YouTube was nonexistent to me and learning about my computer on my own was the only thing I could do. Then video and picture editing programs, such as Sony Vegas and Photoshop, started to interest me, but these programs were too expensive, so I found alternatives that were almost identical and free. At first it was a bit confusing, but eventually I learned to use them and then used it to edit pictures and videos. Using newly obtained knowledge of Photoshop I borrowed my cousin's camera to take pictures of people and then uploaded the pictures to my computer to crop their heads onto a cartoon character's body. With my new video editing knowledge I took some best scenes from my favorite cartoon series, put them all into one video, and it ended up being about 4 minutes long, when it actually took me almost a month of editing to put together. I felt pride in this accomplishment and then showed the video to my parents and they told me how amazing it was and it made me feel like I could accomplish more.
Throughout the years my love of technology grew, I read and watched videos about computers and computer software, which expanded my knowledge of computers. I learned how to put basic parts into my computer, like putting in more RAM, or random access memory, to make my computer faster, but I never got to actually put parts into my computer because my parents did not have the money. Learning more about computers has brought two new goals are for me: to someday build my own computer from parts and develop my own software.
For these reasons, I have decided to major in computer science and one day a software engineer. I want to become a software engineer because having the feeling of I helped make that game would be the best feeling in the world to me. Throughout my life, technology helped me develop the person I am today. It is only fitting that I return the favor and help technology grow.
Prompt #2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Essay:
Each person has personal qualities makes them unique. Most people have many personal qualities that define them, but there is usually one quality that sticks out more than the others and expresses the person they are. For me, I believe that quality is my positive outlook in everything I do.
Most people would not consider a positive outlook their best personal quality, but without it, all the difficult tasks of life would be lingering around me. When I do my homework or chores, I just tell myself that homework is good practice for the upcoming test or doing chores is a good work out. It also relieves things that would stress me out like bad grades; with bad grades I know there will be other tests and they can counter act that bad grade.
One event made me appreciate optimism even more. It was in the seventh grade, it was a normal day until I saw her; I went over and talked to her and after a couple of months we became friends. We became really close friends I started to have feeling for her, so I decided to ask her out. It turns out that was not such a great idea; she told me she wanted to be just friends and had a crush on a close friend of mine. I acted like everything was fine, but on the inside I was heartbroken. When I got home I went for a walk and that is when my optimistic quality helped me. I told myself in life there will be plenty of ups and downs, this was just one of the bad days and there is always tomorrow, a brand new day with a brand new start.
My hopeful perspective makes me proud because it has helped me overcome obstacles that would haunt me and hinder my abilities. Optimism makes me an unstoppable force that can overcome any problem and continue with my life. That is the kind of person I am, kindhearted, I love helping and cheering up others. A positive outlook makes it so I can enjoy the small things in life like when I find money that I did not know I had in my pocket or a hilarious joke my friend told me. My optimism is what motivates me to work towards my dreams and gives me strength to work hard day in and day out; to me my positive outlook will always be my best quality that I will always cherish.
Please help, with grammar, spelling or and anything to improve either of my essays.
