ker0r0
Dec 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing - Criticism is useful for improving education system? [NEW]
Please help me polish the essay. thanks buddy.
In order to improve a country's education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. Do you agree with this? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?
(my answer)
There has been much debate about how to improve education system. Some people insist that teachers should be commented by their students in the class time. I mostly disagree with this opinion because there are other improvement plans for an education system.
There are some detrimental aspects of criticising to teachers. First of all, blaming teachers, most students may not respect them. As a famous psychologist in the UK states in his recent treatise, people who attempt to criticise others tend to focus on finding their weak points. Secondly, this method may lead to students and teachers fighting each other. This could make them difficult to keep good relationships. According to recent research conducted by the Japanese government, 80 per cent of student who belong to a famous law school which has good reputations in Japan say that they strongly trust their teachers.
On the other hand, A much better way of improving education is to invite experts from overseas. It is generally recognised that most institutes that can provide good education positively employ scientists who advanced in their disciplines from overseas. Evidence for this is found in an up-to-date article provided in a major Japanese newspaper, Tokyo University which is well-known as the best university in Japan hired many lecturers who have expertise in certain fields in this year. another measure is that students give some lectures to other students. Adopting this method, students can learn what is important for how to learn subjects.
In conclusion, I am inclined to believe that criticism of teachers is not effective in improving education system. Meanwhile, other potential plans could cause positive effect to both teachers and students.
(280 words)
Please help me polish the essay. thanks buddy.
In order to improve a country's education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. Do you agree with this? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?
(my answer)
There has been much debate about how to improve education system. Some people insist that teachers should be commented by their students in the class time. I mostly disagree with this opinion because there are other improvement plans for an education system.
There are some detrimental aspects of criticising to teachers. First of all, blaming teachers, most students may not respect them. As a famous psychologist in the UK states in his recent treatise, people who attempt to criticise others tend to focus on finding their weak points. Secondly, this method may lead to students and teachers fighting each other. This could make them difficult to keep good relationships. According to recent research conducted by the Japanese government, 80 per cent of student who belong to a famous law school which has good reputations in Japan say that they strongly trust their teachers.
On the other hand, A much better way of improving education is to invite experts from overseas. It is generally recognised that most institutes that can provide good education positively employ scientists who advanced in their disciplines from overseas. Evidence for this is found in an up-to-date article provided in a major Japanese newspaper, Tokyo University which is well-known as the best university in Japan hired many lecturers who have expertise in certain fields in this year. another measure is that students give some lectures to other students. Adopting this method, students can learn what is important for how to learn subjects.
In conclusion, I am inclined to believe that criticism of teachers is not effective in improving education system. Meanwhile, other potential plans could cause positive effect to both teachers and students.
(280 words)
