Writing Feedback / Spanking is not okay! (Argumentative Essay) [3]

Hi, I am tasked to write a 3pg argumentative essay. Below is my final draft and I just need to know if everything is in place. I need to have a strong topic. Also, I need to make sure my punctutaion is okay, along with my grammar.

Please, let me know if I am on the right track.

There have been many discussions on corporal punishment. Part of the problem with corporal punishment is that each group defines spanking differently. Some believe paddling is a form of abuse, while others think it is a form of discipline. Children are often with a spanking from their parents. Hitting a child will do nothing to deter that child from hitting someone else. Children learn from their parents actions. However, people believe spanking will reinforce the behavior of a child as a form of discipline. Spanking can make a huge impact on a child's life.

People have different conflicting values when it deals with spanking their children. Parents will tell me children have no rights, and because they were spanked, slapped and beat for any or all occurrence then it is alright for them to treat their children the same way. We think, therefore, that we are surely being a good and proper parent when we feel as if we are following a tradition. However, traditions and morality are separate standards. People may look at it as physical abuse. Opponents of spanking state that spanking is done out of anger and that the kids never learn a lesson from a whipping. Opponents argue that spanking sends the message to kids that it is ok for a person to strike a smaller person. Truth be told, when a parent paddle their child out of anger or frustration then it does send the wrong message to the child.

The argument of whether or not to use force on a child to behave his or her self has been ongoing for decades. Today's society is more modern displaying rights of all humans and the freedom to speak and express under the Constitution. Parents believe that the only way to get their child to obey is to threaten them with harsh words and physical action. As an individual, I have witnessed some punishment against children that caused me many sleepless nights. In a store recently, two children were playing with each other. The younger one hit the older child and vice versa. The mother was looking on the shelves and had her back to the children. When she turned around she saw the older child playfully hit the younger child again and slapped the older child in the face. I stood and watched in awe. No, I didn't interfere with the mother, but so many times children are helpless victims and slowly can develop an aggressive behavior and withdrawn disposition.

The way a spanking look and feel must be confusing for children. Parents as supposed to set an example of what is right and good. Parents' behavior is their example of what love looks and feels like. No one can show that children will become less well behaved if we do not hit them. Hitting a child seems to say that it is alright to hit people, even loved ones; when a person wants to control others, it must be okay to hit them. Also, corporal punishment does nothing more than putting fear in the hearts of children. Children who are spanked may refrain from repeating the misbehavior, but they obey out of fear. Although it makes children afraid to disobey when parents are present, when parents are not present, the children will misbehave again. Kitty O'Callaghan, a contributing editor on parenting and health issues to Parenting, and Oprah magazine with her straightforward take on everything that troubles moms the most, states

Meanwhile, for decades a long and distinguished list of experts has denounced spanking as ineffective, even dangerous. Ineffective, they say, because it only teaches a child to fear his parents, not to respect them, and dangerous because using force can injure a child...

I believe in this statement because spanking has been associated with a wide range of negative effects that lead to dangerous causes, such as impaired parent/child relationships, learning problems, depression, more likely to suffer from addictions, anti-social behavior, increased aggressiveness, or physically lash out against other people or animals.

In the testimony of Susan Lawrence in support of HB 1787, which supports corporal punishment of children should be prohibited; use of reasonable force as necessary to protect his or herself and others from physical harm, reports, "The U.S department of Health and Human services reports 142,000 children are seriously injured from corporal punishment every year in this country, 18,000 of them are permanently disabled. Between 1-2,000 children die each year in this country alone from Corporal punishment. Nearly 70% of child abuse cases in CPS agencies result from corporal punishment. The defense of "discipline" is raised in 41% of homicide prosecutions when parents "accidentally" kill their children." Clearly, a lot of people are still smacking their children around.

In conclusion, the question of whether or not parents should spank their children is not an easy question to answer but there are better ways to correct the behavior of a child. Forcing corporal punishment on a child can lead to short and long-term effects on development and health issues. There are no proven statistics that show hitting children will become less well-behaved if we do not spank him or her. The heated argument to use force on a child to behave have been going on centuries, and is needed to put an end to this mediating drawback.