TheJohn
Dec 19, 2012
Grammar, Usage / On the fateful day....... / Question on sentence [3]
Thanks for the input! I love that series to pieces.
I've toned it down to:
On the fateful day, I was busily traversing the virtual worlds in Isaac Asimov's I, Robot mini-series at the local library when I was jostled from my mesmerized state unceremoniously by a hoarse voice: "Please, can I have this book after you've finished with it?"
I'll try to split it into two sentences. Does the first sentence sound as it it's hanging? Also, I'm out of words to start sentence two xD.
On the fateful day, I was busily traversing the virtual worlds in Isaac Asimov's I, Robot mini-series at the local library. Suddenly, I was jostled from my mesmerized state unceremoniously by a hoarse voice: "Please, can I have this book after you've finished with it?"
Thanks for the input! I love that series to pieces.
I've toned it down to:
On the fateful day, I was busily traversing the virtual worlds in Isaac Asimov's I, Robot mini-series at the local library when I was jostled from my mesmerized state unceremoniously by a hoarse voice: "Please, can I have this book after you've finished with it?"
I'll try to split it into two sentences. Does the first sentence sound as it it's hanging? Also, I'm out of words to start sentence two xD.
On the fateful day, I was busily traversing the virtual worlds in Isaac Asimov's I, Robot mini-series at the local library. Suddenly, I was jostled from my mesmerized state unceremoniously by a hoarse voice: "Please, can I have this book after you've finished with it?"