Writing Feedback / TOEFL ; Staying with a host family is better than staying with friends [10]

Hi! this is my writing practice for TOEFL writing.
I'm sooo bad at writing...:((
Hope somebody can give some advice to my essay:) Thank you!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Staying with a host family is better than sharing an apartment with friends?

I strongly agree with the opinion that staying with host family is better than sharing an apartment with friends.
The major reason for my belief is that you will be able to learn so many things if you stay with a host family.
To make it clear,I would like to cite an experience that I had when I was an exchange student in the U.S. in 2010.

I stayed with my host mother,sister and two cats.My host family loved taking me to places where I had never been.
They took me to many restaurants,festivals,a school which host mother teaches,and so on.
Wherever place they took me,I loved it.
Of couse,sharing an apartment with friends has an advantage in that it is more fun to be with friends all the time.
However,I would not have been able to learn deeply about the culture if I had not stayed with a host family,as the example shows,

It is clearly more valuable than sharing an apartment with friends.

Additionally,staying with a host family is safer.
To take an example,whenever I asked my host family to let me hang out with my friends.They always asked me who I hang out with,when and where so that they will know where I am and if I had encountered some trouble,it is easier for them to find and rescue me.

Whereas If I had stayed with friends,they would probably do not care about me as much as host family so that nobody will find and rescue me when I had encounterd some trouble.

As the above example shows,I am more protected and safer if I stayed with a host family.
In conclusion,I definitely agree with the idea that staying with a host family is better than sharing an apartment with friends.

Thanks again for taking time to reading my essay!I look forward to get some advice!