Undergraduate / Learning in the school of life - College essay [4]

This is a really rough first draft.Any feedbacks,critiques and grammatical revisions would be much appreciated!

I read the writing on the billboard as soon as I arrived, "School of Life." The name implicitly says it all, I indirectly pictured about the school that literally teaches us about life, that doesn't merely give us logarithms or algebras, that doesn't force us to calculate Newton's theory and do a myriad of homework as a daily basis. I imagined that this is a school that teaches how to live in life, how to survive better, how to be an initially good person, how to not be a burden for the society. This school is a home to the most abandoned people of the abandoned. Not only all the people here are abandoned, they are also 'gifted' with exceptional disabilities. I was here because my school had arranged a 3-day 'excursion' to this place, and I'm not here to simply drop by or to have a sight-seeing, I'm here for a significant mission, I'm here to serve them, to live with them, and to love them.

These people are not merely blind, or crippled, or deaf, most of them had severe torments that scattered their hearts, bodies, and soul caused by being unwanted and rejected by the society. My first day was quite a major shock since I have never been among such a group of mentally ill people. To be honest, I felt quite uneasy at first. We had to feed, bath and nurture those people, which is obviously not as easy as it seems. Their deeds had never failed to amuse me. Sometimes they would bang their heads to the wall for no apparent reason, sometimes they would cry and laugh in a baffling way, some of them would suddenly get naked. When I fed them, they literally would eat anything on the floor, and the most astounding thing, they would poop all over the place. As I said, none of this people were normal.

I coped with this situation for exactly 72 hours, which succeeded to create a remarkable change in my point of view. Gradually, I felt some sort of empathy to them. Maria is one of the 'student' I've been taking care of. She punched her head occasionally, and I always tried to hold her hands to prevent her deed. She also pooped all over the place that her body was coated with a stench smell. That day, I was feeding her and she was distracted as always, she was staring at some half dried scrapes on her arms, and to my surprise, she tore it up and ate it. I totally winced in pain seeing that movement and I totally felt awful. Maria casually munched it on like a cookie, she didn't even flinch a bit. I wonder how immense the pain that Maria had felt that she lost her mind and finally felt numb like this. I wonder who had caused Maria to be like this. I could not bear the sadness, I could not comprehend the fact.

This was the first time I mingled with the rejected and lost. I learned that the world has been really despicable to them. Some of them were once brokenhearted, raped, or stressed, and nothing had been able to mend their hearts. They have been irreparably broken.

I learned that people in this life need to acquire love and feel they are worthwhile. I'm lucky to be showered with love and a remarkably supportive environment. Sadly, some people are not. I learned to love and support people around me, and appreciate them as whole. 'School of life' taught me that my compassion and care was worthwhile for them. It taught me to appreciate the community. I'm eager to contribute in the community of University of Washington. I'm eager to share my values, experience and culture to enrich the community. Lastly, I initially hope that people would appreciate and be compassionate to people who are abandoned and rejected. Your presence give them hope, no matter how slight it is.

Undergraduate / Wrestling with my fears - Essay for University of Washington, Seattle [7]

English is not my first language,any help or comments will be very much appreciated!! deadlines are coming fast and I'm only nervous because i only could write cheesy-crappy essays :(

A.Discuss how your family's experience or cultural history enriched you or presented you with opportunities or challenges in pursuing your educational goals.
B. Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

UW ESSAY A
WRESTLING WITH MY FEARS

My sister is an epitome of a bright student, having straight A marks in every year of her report card, becoming an outstanding high school chairman who led many school events, she practically becomes the "more" exceptional child in my family. Shortly, I had always been overshadowed by her accomplishments in every aspect at the early journey of my studies. The dreadful comparison intimidated me, which resulted at my low eagerness to achieve at school.

However, things began to change when I entered high school, I was chosen to be a part of speech team on my school club where students became frontiers in joining prestigious English competitions. I was remarkably doubtful at first since I was quite a shy person, and I utterly fear speaking in public, but my peers had always supported me and I probably yearned for an opportunity to be acknowledged by people around me, so I promised myself to give the best. I still remembered each detail of my first competition; the way I felt terribly clueless at preparations, the way I attempted to lower my expectations due to the fear of disappointment I might receive latter, the way I felt my heart swelling like it was about to explode, and also the way I felt faith in my subconscious, where I finally valued myself, where I felt something burning up inside me, where I finally became passionate at something. I stood on the podium, elaborating my point of view about my topic:culture, I felt vibrant, seeing those emotions I created on the audience's face was priceless. I tried to not be intimidated by the judges' stares. Finally, one of them smiled. I changed pitch when I was giving emphasis. It felt like the longest 10 minutes of my life until my speech finally ended.

I believe that results always come second to the process, what matters the most is that I always contemplate on the learning process and that I'm always on my toes to give the very best of me. So in the end, I had sincerely prepared to lose at my first competition, losing with pride and satisfaction of the accomplishment on giving my efforts. But the result was an antithesis of what I felt. I was ranked 2nd out of 60 participants all over the state, while in fact, I was still a tenth grader. I was the least experienced compared to the rest of participants. I consequently found that I was the underdog that insisted to be a fighter, not a quitter, and I finally defeated myself. I learned that people can found their expertise even in the scope they are the least capable at, as long as they have guts to wrestle with their fears.

From then on, I valued that determination is the significant key. I realized that this is a wake up call for me to not waste my time, I became more competitive at school, I joined more activities like: school orchestra, tennis, tutoring, and of course continued joining speech competitions, which also improved my skills gradually. I took my grades seriously, and I became more comfortable of myself. I finally found the triumph and delight in learning things in life. I learned that this is not about the result, or the goal that I may reach, this is about how I'm giving my best in everything while enjoying the process. There's always sincere satisfaction after we somehow work our heads off. So this time I'm doing my best not for those people who compared me to my sister. I'm giving all I am because I'm passionate in learning and I'm willing to contribute my capabilities to the enhancement of the environment and people around me.

My sister is still a bright example for me, but her accomplishments can no longer be a threat, instead they become an inspiration to me; her leadership, her determinations, they encourage me in developing my own expertise. My sister becomes another fuel for my pursuit to be better each day. I believe that people could shine, not only because of their accomplishments and results, but also because of their efforts that can never cease.