mtkee
May 14, 2013
Writing Feedback / Young people and their participation in helping their communities [3]
can anyone revise my essay
"Cultural revolution is going to revolutionize our societies and its related concepts" my social science professor said ten years ago. It is a matter of fact that our societies are reflections of our minds. In other word, since we live based on our attitudes and thoughts, our societies formed based on these. By this introduction, in the rest of my essay I contend that young people yet devote some time to help their societies to make it better for three reasons.
The most significant reason is that, young people usually prefer to devote their time just for helping their own local communities. In fact nowadays extending the communities -in sense of its population- brings up more complex relationships between people which inherently lead to forming many small local communities. Moreover, it is obvious that everyone who belongs to a community should do his best to make his community better. So although it seems that in such a society no one helps the others, but actually there are some local activities which people's contributions confine to them.
Another equally point is that, community's definition has been changed over past decades. For example consider a social network like Facebook where you can simply communicate with anyone you like by just a few clicks. In comparison with clubs, cafes, pubs and stuffs like these, social networks are much more extensive and they are accessible anywhere and anytime you want, easier and cheaper. All of these facilities alter the traditional meaning of community for young people, and as a result they spend their time and energy to those modern communities.
It is also important to bear in mind that young people's attitude toward life has changed over past decades. For example nowadays young people tend to do work while they are studying. In this way they are obliged to increase their efficiency which necessitates them to dedicate more time to do their tasks. Apparently, by this attitude they diverge from traditional communities which results to seeming decrease in their contribution to help those communities. But it is not true to conclude that young people do not give enough time to helping their communities. In fact their attention is converged to modern and attractive communities like social networks.
To recapitulate, I champion my idea about this viewpoint that young people still participate in helping their communities. Furthermore I point out since youth's attitude toward the meaning of community and society has changed, they do differently in comparison with other generations. Aside from my points of view, psychologists suggest young people to participate more in actual relationships to build their character and increase their emotional qualifications.
can anyone revise my essay
"Cultural revolution is going to revolutionize our societies and its related concepts" my social science professor said ten years ago. It is a matter of fact that our societies are reflections of our minds. In other word, since we live based on our attitudes and thoughts, our societies formed based on these. By this introduction, in the rest of my essay I contend that young people yet devote some time to help their societies to make it better for three reasons.
The most significant reason is that, young people usually prefer to devote their time just for helping their own local communities. In fact nowadays extending the communities -in sense of its population- brings up more complex relationships between people which inherently lead to forming many small local communities. Moreover, it is obvious that everyone who belongs to a community should do his best to make his community better. So although it seems that in such a society no one helps the others, but actually there are some local activities which people's contributions confine to them.
Another equally point is that, community's definition has been changed over past decades. For example consider a social network like Facebook where you can simply communicate with anyone you like by just a few clicks. In comparison with clubs, cafes, pubs and stuffs like these, social networks are much more extensive and they are accessible anywhere and anytime you want, easier and cheaper. All of these facilities alter the traditional meaning of community for young people, and as a result they spend their time and energy to those modern communities.
It is also important to bear in mind that young people's attitude toward life has changed over past decades. For example nowadays young people tend to do work while they are studying. In this way they are obliged to increase their efficiency which necessitates them to dedicate more time to do their tasks. Apparently, by this attitude they diverge from traditional communities which results to seeming decrease in their contribution to help those communities. But it is not true to conclude that young people do not give enough time to helping their communities. In fact their attention is converged to modern and attractive communities like social networks.
To recapitulate, I champion my idea about this viewpoint that young people still participate in helping their communities. Furthermore I point out since youth's attitude toward the meaning of community and society has changed, they do differently in comparison with other generations. Aside from my points of view, psychologists suggest young people to participate more in actual relationships to build their character and increase their emotional qualifications.
