sierrarr
May 23, 2013
Undergraduate / "Describe a bump in the road....";UCF Undergraduate essay [2]
During my first two years of high school, I was a mediocre at best student. My main priority was having lots of friends. By the end of my sophomore year, I managed a 2.9 gpa and a steady boyfriend. He was one of the smartest people I knew, the salutatorian of his graduating class. Instead of giving a speech that year at graduation, he was sentenced to a year in jail for grand theft under the influence of alcohol. He was more than a boyfriend, he was my best friend, and I lost my best friend my whole junior year. I watched someone with so much potential give up the opportunity to go to college. Everything changed in me that year, though. I started studying and caring about getting A's, tutoring others in subjects I thought I could barely pass in previous years. I realized my passion while tutoring one day when a student said to me, "I can't do this. It's easy for you because you're smart." I was shocked by their response because just a few months before I was in their same position. I replied, "That's not true. I'm not a genius; I work hard to learn, just like you." When I said this, I realized that I wanted everyone to know that they have the ability in them to learn, and I realized my passion was to teach. The hardship I faced by losing the closest person to me put me closer to myself and my real potential.
I'm new to this writing forum, but I would really appreciate any feedback from anyone! I'm over their required word count (250) by just two words so I need to cut back on something, but I'm not sure what. The actual prompt says, "Describe a bump in the road in your academic or personal life." Thank you for reading this!
During my first two years of high school, I was a mediocre at best student. My main priority was having lots of friends. By the end of my sophomore year, I managed a 2.9 gpa and a steady boyfriend. He was one of the smartest people I knew, the salutatorian of his graduating class. Instead of giving a speech that year at graduation, he was sentenced to a year in jail for grand theft under the influence of alcohol. He was more than a boyfriend, he was my best friend, and I lost my best friend my whole junior year. I watched someone with so much potential give up the opportunity to go to college. Everything changed in me that year, though. I started studying and caring about getting A's, tutoring others in subjects I thought I could barely pass in previous years. I realized my passion while tutoring one day when a student said to me, "I can't do this. It's easy for you because you're smart." I was shocked by their response because just a few months before I was in their same position. I replied, "That's not true. I'm not a genius; I work hard to learn, just like you." When I said this, I realized that I wanted everyone to know that they have the ability in them to learn, and I realized my passion was to teach. The hardship I faced by losing the closest person to me put me closer to myself and my real potential.
I'm new to this writing forum, but I would really appreciate any feedback from anyone! I'm over their required word count (250) by just two words so I need to cut back on something, but I'm not sure what. The actual prompt says, "Describe a bump in the road in your academic or personal life." Thank you for reading this!
