nikkibae
Jun 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Luck, Wisdom, and Purpose STANFORD ESSAY: INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT [4]
I will take your advice.
Thanks!
I will take your advice.
Thanks!
nikkibae
Jun 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Luck, Wisdom, and Purpose STANFORD ESSAY: INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT [4]
Okay so I worked on this all day now and I am satisfied with it. Please be honest with your criticism. Thank you for your help!
Prompt: Stanford students possess intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
My innate trust that everything will work out the way I want it to has never failed... so far. Many consider me as one of the luckiest people alive since I always seem to have something going right for me. How many Bolivians do you know who have gotten the chance to live in this beautiful country, sing in an opera, dance in parades, be in the "Who's Who" book, and earn the "Student of Today" award all by the time they were fifteen? Alas, I prefer to think of myself as a hard worker rather than just a lucky person. Luck comes into play in the form of the opportunities that are presented to me. The rest of my 'luck' goes into what I do with these opportunities.
In fact, luck is merely a minuscule factor of my achievements in life. Most of the opportunities I've had can be traced back to how my parents raised me; growing up, I was taught to value the intellectual aspect in life. As a child, I would be the ten year old marveling at the beauty contained in the National Gallery of Art in DC or the twelve year old enjoying "The Magic Flute" opera with my family. The idea that knowledge can change your life has been passed down to me through my parents. The fact that my father went from being so poor that he used to make his own toys out of cardboard as a boy to becoming an architect professor just by using his knowledge is proof of this idea.
Intellectual development is not just about growing wiser, but also about using your wisdom to help humanity. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." We are all thrown out here in this world with nothing but our mind, our curiosity, just a tiny bit of luck, and an infinite amount of wisdom to explore. I will do nothing less then to seek out this wisdom and attempt to impact humanity in my own way. Maybe someday I will inspire somebody to do the same, just as my father inspired me.
Okay so I worked on this all day now and I am satisfied with it. Please be honest with your criticism. Thank you for your help!
Prompt: Stanford students possess intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
My innate trust that everything will work out the way I want it to has never failed... so far. Many consider me as one of the luckiest people alive since I always seem to have something going right for me. How many Bolivians do you know who have gotten the chance to live in this beautiful country, sing in an opera, dance in parades, be in the "Who's Who" book, and earn the "Student of Today" award all by the time they were fifteen? Alas, I prefer to think of myself as a hard worker rather than just a lucky person. Luck comes into play in the form of the opportunities that are presented to me. The rest of my 'luck' goes into what I do with these opportunities.
In fact, luck is merely a minuscule factor of my achievements in life. Most of the opportunities I've had can be traced back to how my parents raised me; growing up, I was taught to value the intellectual aspect in life. As a child, I would be the ten year old marveling at the beauty contained in the National Gallery of Art in DC or the twelve year old enjoying "The Magic Flute" opera with my family. The idea that knowledge can change your life has been passed down to me through my parents. The fact that my father went from being so poor that he used to make his own toys out of cardboard as a boy to becoming an architect professor just by using his knowledge is proof of this idea.
Intellectual development is not just about growing wiser, but also about using your wisdom to help humanity. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." We are all thrown out here in this world with nothing but our mind, our curiosity, just a tiny bit of luck, and an infinite amount of wisdom to explore. I will do nothing less then to seek out this wisdom and attempt to impact humanity in my own way. Maybe someday I will inspire somebody to do the same, just as my father inspired me.
nikkibae
Jun 27, 2013
Scholarship / I want to be an important decision maker ; Scholarship [2]
i really enjoyed your essay! Although Didgeridoo has a point about elaborating a bit more on the second and third question. I would advise you to be a bit more specific to the future aspirations that you have. Keep in mind that there are many people who are writing about the same aspirations as you so by giving more details, y you can turn a really general aspiration into a more unique one that will jump out to the reader. Good luck!
i really enjoyed your essay! Although Didgeridoo has a point about elaborating a bit more on the second and third question. I would advise you to be a bit more specific to the future aspirations that you have. Keep in mind that there are many people who are writing about the same aspirations as you so by giving more details, y you can turn a really general aspiration into a more unique one that will jump out to the reader. Good luck!
nikkibae
Jun 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Honestly Hypnotized. Stanford Essay: Intellectual Development. [4]
I see what you mean. Thank you for your honesty.
It actually is a true story, minus the hypnosis part.
Back to the drawing board for me.
I see what you mean. Thank you for your honesty.
It actually is a true story, minus the hypnosis part.
Back to the drawing board for me.
nikkibae
Jun 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Honestly Hypnotized. Stanford Essay: Intellectual Development. [4]
I need feedback from this essay. I just finished putting it together and I can't decide how I feel about it. Any criticism would be helpful! Thank you!
1. Stanford students possess intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
Laying down on a couch, I look up to the face of the hypnotist.
"As I count from ten to one, you will sink deeper and deeper into sleep. Ten... nine..."
My eyes feel heavy as they slide shut.
"eight... seven..."
My legs and hips begin to feel loose.
"six... five..."
The rest of my body loosens up, making me feel like a rag doll.
" four... three... two... one. You are now in a deep sleep. Recall an important memory about a day that you decided to pursue Criminal Psychology. Tell me, what date is it?"
"It's the summer of 2010, my family and I are back in La Paz, Bolivia."
"Okay now lets narrow it down to one day in particular. Can you tell me what events inspired your decision? "
"I'm with my eleven year old nephew, Julian. He's showing me something on the his old computer on Facebook. A white box just popped up on the screen. He is typing out a computer code in that box."
"Can you tell me why he did that?"
"He wants to show me something on my Facebook page. My profile picture. Julian changed the original picture to one of just him and me without ever logging into my account."
"Why does that day matter?"
"It made me think."
"Think about what?"
"About a lot of things. My uncle was the smartest and possibly the poorest of his classmates when he was a child. Now he is a successful business man who lives in a penthouse suite. My father didn't have enough money to buy toys as a child so he would create toys out of cardboard. Now he is a retired architect professor. Julian is barely eleven and not only has he already found his passion but he is also teaching it to himself."
"What does that have to do with you?"
"I want to live up to these achievements. They are real life proof that change is possible; that knowledge is worth all the hard work. I made a promise to myself that someday, I will inspire someone with my passion the way these men inspired me with theirs."
"Come back to the present, you may now wake up."
I need feedback from this essay. I just finished putting it together and I can't decide how I feel about it. Any criticism would be helpful! Thank you!
1. Stanford students possess intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
Laying down on a couch, I look up to the face of the hypnotist.
"As I count from ten to one, you will sink deeper and deeper into sleep. Ten... nine..."
My eyes feel heavy as they slide shut.
"eight... seven..."
My legs and hips begin to feel loose.
"six... five..."
The rest of my body loosens up, making me feel like a rag doll.
" four... three... two... one. You are now in a deep sleep. Recall an important memory about a day that you decided to pursue Criminal Psychology. Tell me, what date is it?"
"It's the summer of 2010, my family and I are back in La Paz, Bolivia."
"Okay now lets narrow it down to one day in particular. Can you tell me what events inspired your decision? "
"I'm with my eleven year old nephew, Julian. He's showing me something on the his old computer on Facebook. A white box just popped up on the screen. He is typing out a computer code in that box."
"Can you tell me why he did that?"
"He wants to show me something on my Facebook page. My profile picture. Julian changed the original picture to one of just him and me without ever logging into my account."
"Why does that day matter?"
"It made me think."
"Think about what?"
"About a lot of things. My uncle was the smartest and possibly the poorest of his classmates when he was a child. Now he is a successful business man who lives in a penthouse suite. My father didn't have enough money to buy toys as a child so he would create toys out of cardboard. Now he is a retired architect professor. Julian is barely eleven and not only has he already found his passion but he is also teaching it to himself."
"What does that have to do with you?"
"I want to live up to these achievements. They are real life proof that change is possible; that knowledge is worth all the hard work. I made a promise to myself that someday, I will inspire someone with my passion the way these men inspired me with theirs."
"Come back to the present, you may now wake up."
