wxhwdf
Aug 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Non academic subjects should be removed from syllabus - Agree or Disagree? [4]
Thanks dumi.
Thanks dumi.
wxhwdf
Aug 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Non academic subjects should be removed from syllabus - Agree or Disagree? [4]
Please, anyone give me some feedback for my essay.
Question: With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students have become more and more stressed during the last few years due to the increase in academic tasks assigned by their teachers to improve their academic success. While some people believe that non-academic subjects should be completely removed, I strongly disagree with that.
To begin with, from the health point of view, schools should not only deliver academic subjects. If physical education is removed from the syllabus, there will be considerable negative effects on students' health. For instance, after studying and sitting in the classroom for the whole morning, it is better for students to do some outdoor activities, such as stretching, jogging and playing ball games, in order to improve their learning ability during the afternoon classes. Removing physical classes from school education will not only be harmful to young people's health, it will also decrease their learning capability.
In addition, schools are responsible for developing their students into well-rounded people. It is more important for a person to success in life than to success only academically. Success in life should be the ultimate goal of a student, which requires more than academic knowledge, but also practical life skills such as cooking, good communication skills and teamwork spirit. Thus, school education should not only focus on the academic development of a student as it is much more crucial to teach them how to be independent and live a good life.
Some people may argue that students can learn practical skills after school hours from their parents. However, I believe that it is not a good idea because most young people would rather watch TV or play computer games after school instead of learning life skills from their parents. Moreover, parents are usually too busy with their daily jobs to teach their children the life skills.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that non-academic subjects are as essential as academic subjects for a student's development. Therefore, schools should not remove these subjects.
Please, anyone give me some feedback for my essay.
Question: With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students have become more and more stressed during the last few years due to the increase in academic tasks assigned by their teachers to improve their academic success. While some people believe that non-academic subjects should be completely removed, I strongly disagree with that.
To begin with, from the health point of view, schools should not only deliver academic subjects. If physical education is removed from the syllabus, there will be considerable negative effects on students' health. For instance, after studying and sitting in the classroom for the whole morning, it is better for students to do some outdoor activities, such as stretching, jogging and playing ball games, in order to improve their learning ability during the afternoon classes. Removing physical classes from school education will not only be harmful to young people's health, it will also decrease their learning capability.
In addition, schools are responsible for developing their students into well-rounded people. It is more important for a person to success in life than to success only academically. Success in life should be the ultimate goal of a student, which requires more than academic knowledge, but also practical life skills such as cooking, good communication skills and teamwork spirit. Thus, school education should not only focus on the academic development of a student as it is much more crucial to teach them how to be independent and live a good life.
Some people may argue that students can learn practical skills after school hours from their parents. However, I believe that it is not a good idea because most young people would rather watch TV or play computer games after school instead of learning life skills from their parents. Moreover, parents are usually too busy with their daily jobs to teach their children the life skills.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that non-academic subjects are as essential as academic subjects for a student's development. Therefore, schools should not remove these subjects.
