anliv
Aug 17, 2013
Writing Feedback / Ielts task 1- give me feedback, and mark on /9.0 [3]
Please comment and revise and mark it, thank you in advance!!!
Given are two graphs comparing the rates of secondary and tentative education between males and females in some parts of the world. It is evident from the information provided that Europe is placed at the top of the list for school attendance; as well as, less affluent regions are less likely to be educated.
Concerning the secondary education, Europe witnesses approximately a massive 90 percent of men and an enormous 98 percent of women are educated citizens. These figures double that of Latin America, also East Asia where the percentages of students fluctuate between 42 percent and 48 percent for both of sexes. SSA boys and girls are least likely received education, with a mere eight percent and 16 percent of population respectively attending classes.
Looking closely to the second chart, apparently, the gaps between regions in higher education seem to be narrowed down. With 42 percent of adult females and 48 percent of adult males gaining education, European still surpass Latin America and East Asia. Conversely, despite the fact that only 20 percent of females and 25 percent of males attend college or university, only in SSA does higher education receive greater attention than secondary education.
Also noteworthy is the notion that females are more likely to receive secondary education, except for East Asia, but less likely to gain tentative education, except for Europe, than males.
Please comment and revise and mark it, thank you in advance!!!
Given are two graphs comparing the rates of secondary and tentative education between males and females in some parts of the world. It is evident from the information provided that Europe is placed at the top of the list for school attendance; as well as, less affluent regions are less likely to be educated.
Concerning the secondary education, Europe witnesses approximately a massive 90 percent of men and an enormous 98 percent of women are educated citizens. These figures double that of Latin America, also East Asia where the percentages of students fluctuate between 42 percent and 48 percent for both of sexes. SSA boys and girls are least likely received education, with a mere eight percent and 16 percent of population respectively attending classes.
Looking closely to the second chart, apparently, the gaps between regions in higher education seem to be narrowed down. With 42 percent of adult females and 48 percent of adult males gaining education, European still surpass Latin America and East Asia. Conversely, despite the fact that only 20 percent of females and 25 percent of males attend college or university, only in SSA does higher education receive greater attention than secondary education.
Also noteworthy is the notion that females are more likely to receive secondary education, except for East Asia, but less likely to gain tentative education, except for Europe, than males.
ghraphs