Lucynore
Aug 31, 2013
Writing Feedback / Illegal immigrants return after deportation with reasonable explanations [2]
This is a draft for an essay I need to submit. I need help in a couple areas. Thank you!
My main concern in drafting essays it is grammar and punctuation. I always feel that I use proper punctuation but the feedback I get always proves that I need help understanding where to place commas.
The other concern I have is the correct utilization of quotations. I have read the MLA guidelines and I believe I use them correctly but once again the feedback I receive shows that I am not doing it right. I feel I am a good writer and my intentions are always to give proper credit to the authors I use, yet it seems that I do not understand how I am doing this wrong.
Finally transitions are a major problem. I draft an essay and I brain storm and I end up with so many ideas and when it comes to putting it all in writing it does not make sense. I read out loud to myself to try and assist me with the flow of my conversations. As they sound well to me to others it can be chaos.
I COULD NOT UPLOAD THE ENTIRE FILE? HOW CAN I? THIS IS THE ESSAY BELOW.
Illegal immigrants return after deportation for rational explanations
As the economy tightens everywhere in the world, to include here in the United States, there is no holding back for those who dream of a better life and a chance of survival. While the majorities seek to enter this country with good intentions, there are many setbacks that can lead to a vicious cycle that include so many dangers. Families from different countries such as Jamaica, El Salvador, Mexico, Canada and even China strive to reach the United States. Hundreds travel for days, experiencing hunger and sleeplessness with children, mothers and fathers struggle to the point of death of dehydration or plain exhaustion.
Illegal immigration has been one of the biggest news stories all over the globe and there is yet to be a solution. Many disregard any attempts to legalize the correct way because in their mind there is no way in but crossing illegally. Once here the majority procreate and begin living an illegal life. Not necessarily crime wise instead the main crime here is solely just being in this country without proper permission. Those here can become undetected for decades and when they are caught while making an illegal "U-turn" and asked for a driver's license there is not much choice but to submit to what is to come due to the consequences of their choices. The problem is, with having already constructed a home, family, and a new life style it will be highly tempting to come back and with this stubborn reason in mind desperation and frustration consuming every thought deportees see no choice but to return.
Some come with good intentions in mind when entering the United States, but not everyone comes with honorable and reasonable objectives in mind. Some take advantage of the entire system. As the frustrations and anxiety builds on those who want to return because they worry something will happen to their family or home and everything they have worked for, others maliciously gain profit off them. Illegal immigrants are being deported on a regular basis summing up to hundreds a day and they are deported to their country of birth. As soon as they set foot off the plane or bus they are approached by many who sell them a ticket back to the United States with claimed guarantees to get home safe.
What is expected should be the obvious, it is crooked and it is a crime to reenter, however as desperate needs take over immigrants they end up doing the extreme. A Salvadorian woman states that it is very dangerous and costly (Bazar). With poverty levels in her hometown the Salvadorian woman wanted to better her life and she had borrowed $3000 to pay for her trip, a trip that almost cost her life. As she was deported back to El Salvador she is stuck at a job where she gets paid $5 a day to pay back what she had borrowed. She opted to remain in her country rather than to take that risk again.
The dangers may not be the only reason this Salvadorian woman settled for staying in her country as she would have been in a constant war with ICE if she managed to stay in the United States. The Immigration and Custom Enforcement (ICE) agency's top priority is to remove illegal immigrants (Bazar). Bazar states that ICE, has been raiding job sites, renewing its efforts to track down illegal immigrants with criminal records and stepping up deportations. There seems to be limited approvals for applicants of visas. That even with a minimum of approved permits each year, it gives hope to many. It almost seems like a game of chance, somewhat similar to lottery and with this, there are many who risk their lives on a daily basis. What we see is that there is a greater amount of people willing to try again and again after deportation to be selected for a visa. The problem is the entrance without proper permission is in violation of the law and is called trespassing.
The effort to return for immigrants does not stop at the first return. While some decide it is too risky to return many are willing to take that chance. After their first apprehension they are fingerprinted and a file is recorded for future references. An immigration judge applies a 5 year penalty for first offenders, after the 5 year penalty, the years increase after each apprehension for up to a permanent removal. The fact is that 99.9 percent of the people who come here illegally do so because there's no path for them to come here legally (Filisco). After given a 5 year penalty it can only be imagined that the reasons to return are grand and personal. When the 5 year penalty is over, a person can apply legally to enter the United States.
It is not that easy to apply and be granted the permission and with this in mind many decide to reenter over and over disobeying the law. Illegal immigrants or at least the majority sustain reasonable explanations to return, however a lot of people from here and other countries do not understand this and begin to believe that illegal immigrants are here to take advantage of health benefits (Filisco), although this might be true it is not a proven fact. With corruption and poverty back in their countries it is difficult to have a healthy environment for themselves and their families. With the thoughts of them abusing the health system there are thoughts that illegal immigrants cheat their way in to the country by false marriages and citizenship through their children (Filisco).
The struggle to get here is only one of the difficult phases illegal immigrants face. While it was already hard enough to suffer from starvation to return, the next phase is "hide and go seek." I say this because to live in the United States illegally is tough. No driver's license, no proper documentation for a vehicle, no insurance, no health benefits and no form of legal income can drive many to work and get paid "underneath the table," which means that an illegal immigrant can obtain work and get paid in cash. The duties though can be anything, from labor, construction, house cleaning and many long hours without sleep. They maintain a hidden life so they cannot be detected easily.
Their living becomes emotional and personal, because of all the sweat and tears invested to maintain the unlawful living. Anything to keep their family safe and healthy can create a bit of peace. Until that one day illegal immigrants face deportation. Uncertain of the end result in desperation to be back with their family their only choice is to figure out a way back. Their motivation for return is the reunification with their families rather than just work (Radnovich). It can be devastating to be separated from your family being illegal or not.
Many people claim illegal immigrants are stealing job opportunities and identities. While these statements can be honest without a solution for immigration these kind of criminal offenses are yet to have an end. Crime has followed illegal immigrants in many forms. Not only the crossing illegally, working, driving without a license and renting under someone else's name are crimes but one of the worst kind of crimes are those committed by the organized operations to make profit from immigrants. Illegal immigration is not a crime done alone. While desperate to return, deportees seek help from anyone including cartels, making human trafficking and smuggling a highly dangerous and costly offense.
Here in the state of Arizona, being that we are part of the Mexican border, we hear about these cases daily on the news. There is not a day where I do not hear that someone died while trying to cross the desert. Authorities found the corpses of 129 suspected illegal immigrants last year here in Brooks County, a desolate region of cactus-covered ranch lands (Bustillos). Other stories I hear are those of the many "drop houses" used to hide illegal immigrants supplied by the human smuggling ring. When illegal immigrants accept to be smuggled by an organization, there are risks they take. Numerous extortion calls and violent crimes that take part of these hidden houses. Homicide, rape and humiliation are some of the risks they take every time illegal immigrants pay someone to be smuggled. "A drop point for a human-smuggling operation and that the 10 children, ages 2 to 17, were illegal immigrants being held for ransom" (Lacey). Human trafficking and smuggling are in high demand for the organized crime and they will not hold themselves back when they demand their money, "a Salvadoran women who is living legally in Northern California -- alerted the authorities to the operation late last week when she told the F.B.I. that smugglers had threatened to rape and kill her daughters if she did not pay $10,000" (Lacey).
Homeland Security's main concern with these kind of organizations are the terrorists acts they commit, whether it is by using violence through illegals it can also mean that they are doing this in a country that does not allow this. Since September 11, there has been fear of attacks and it is only correct to control and secure the borders. The fact that illegal immigration is not resolved we are prone and vulnerable. Fear comes from illegal immigrants as well as for citizens of this country.
Illegal immigrants that have been successful in staying here after their survival of being smuggled or walking for days manage a living in one way or another. Their reasons to continue on this path are well intended. However, they are not seen this way according to them. It is a constant racial war and it is what they stand behind to defend their stay even more. National and international news casts report that in the state of Arizona a Sheriff by the name of Joe Arpaio has put up a huge fight against illegal immigration. "My office has been responsible for finding and identifying 25% of the nation's illegal alien criminal offenders through the state-federal immigration law enforcement partnership known as the 287(g) program" (Arpaio). The Sheriff claims it is a fair and justiciable right to enforce these laws to keep our communities and Nation safe. Even if this authority assisted in the identification of illegals, racism followed it everywhere and it was soon taken off of Arpaio's hands.
ICE in the other hand continues its efforts to track illegals and illegal activities. Recently there was a news article that proves that the "hide and go seek" game exists within illegals. As they try to stay under the radar, because they need income they accept jobs that sooner or later will reveal their hide out. "Agents rounded up 223 people, most of them in the United States illegally" (Santos). This was a raid that was conducted in a Phoenix, Arizona carwash named "Danny's Family Carwash." Most of them were released shortly after. If anyone carefully considers this to review, there are many controversies. There are crimes being committed, the use of a fake social security numbers is a crime, but the fact that they do this is because there are no ways illegals can obtain work here in the first place. There is no justification for identity theft but what other choice do they have? If there was a way for them to work there could be a chance that they will work for good reasons.
Crime should be punished in all extent of the law. There are no considerations for family and survival, and if there were, crimes such as identity theft would be lessened. Families are being destroyed, children are being traumatized and marriages become close to extinct between a citizen and a deportee. There are pleads and there are concerns with deportees returning. However if the person being deported would comply with the laws in the first place there would be a greater chance for them obtaining legal documents. A Jamaican woman struggles to find answers to her husband's return (Persaud). The answers vary and it all depends on the terms given when her husband was deported. If her husband was given a 5 year penalty there is no choice but to wait. Patience will be needed but the emotional needs can interfere with the law.
Now People like the Jamaican woman's husband can see hope and a chance to better their life and reunite. Today, there is a congressional effort to change immigration law (Cave), this would give a second chance to tens of thousands of deportees without criminal history (cave). If her husband can prove that he has not committed any crimes he might have a ticket back in. Nationality, race, gender or age will not matter if this Bill goes through as many could be concerned. Those that are deported are of different countries and not just Mexico.
It is understandable that there is a need to survive. In this country Americans struggle financially and emotionally as well. No one wants to be starved and no one likes corruption. Illegal immigrants are here because there is no way to survive in a country where life is limited. Mexico is in constant war with corruption, drug trafficking and their economy but there are many other countries going through the same. The United States can be amongst those countries but our government has had better luck. It is better organized than other countries.
In the meantime, The United States can make "chasing the dream" more feasible. As we are seen as a free country many strive to get here. Many are their cries to make us help them and how can that be accomplished? Our borders need to be secured and laws have to remain enforced for the safety of everyone. Living in the United States illegally can be more stable than living surrounded by crime. Illegal Immigrant's choice becomes living illegally rather than in fear and if when they face deportation they become committed to nothing else but to survive and reunite with their families.
Our country portrays security and peace that motivates this behavior in people from other countries. What needs to be done or what is asked to them is mainly the compliance of our laws. Illegal immigrants are committing a crime already that any other crimes done while being here are not acceptable. It might not be possible if there is no way to work legally, for them their only choice is living illegally. Obtaining the necessary to survive individually or with family can be their only sanctuary. Life preservation is everyone's concern and as for illegal immigrants this is well comprehended. Their hidden life within the states becomes their only attachment and if deported, no matter how many times and dangerous risks they have to overcome, their reunification and wellbeing is sufficient hunger to return.
This is a draft for an essay I need to submit. I need help in a couple areas. Thank you!
My main concern in drafting essays it is grammar and punctuation. I always feel that I use proper punctuation but the feedback I get always proves that I need help understanding where to place commas.
The other concern I have is the correct utilization of quotations. I have read the MLA guidelines and I believe I use them correctly but once again the feedback I receive shows that I am not doing it right. I feel I am a good writer and my intentions are always to give proper credit to the authors I use, yet it seems that I do not understand how I am doing this wrong.
Finally transitions are a major problem. I draft an essay and I brain storm and I end up with so many ideas and when it comes to putting it all in writing it does not make sense. I read out loud to myself to try and assist me with the flow of my conversations. As they sound well to me to others it can be chaos.
I COULD NOT UPLOAD THE ENTIRE FILE? HOW CAN I? THIS IS THE ESSAY BELOW.
Illegal immigrants return after deportation for rational explanations
As the economy tightens everywhere in the world, to include here in the United States, there is no holding back for those who dream of a better life and a chance of survival. While the majorities seek to enter this country with good intentions, there are many setbacks that can lead to a vicious cycle that include so many dangers. Families from different countries such as Jamaica, El Salvador, Mexico, Canada and even China strive to reach the United States. Hundreds travel for days, experiencing hunger and sleeplessness with children, mothers and fathers struggle to the point of death of dehydration or plain exhaustion.
Illegal immigration has been one of the biggest news stories all over the globe and there is yet to be a solution. Many disregard any attempts to legalize the correct way because in their mind there is no way in but crossing illegally. Once here the majority procreate and begin living an illegal life. Not necessarily crime wise instead the main crime here is solely just being in this country without proper permission. Those here can become undetected for decades and when they are caught while making an illegal "U-turn" and asked for a driver's license there is not much choice but to submit to what is to come due to the consequences of their choices. The problem is, with having already constructed a home, family, and a new life style it will be highly tempting to come back and with this stubborn reason in mind desperation and frustration consuming every thought deportees see no choice but to return.
Some come with good intentions in mind when entering the United States, but not everyone comes with honorable and reasonable objectives in mind. Some take advantage of the entire system. As the frustrations and anxiety builds on those who want to return because they worry something will happen to their family or home and everything they have worked for, others maliciously gain profit off them. Illegal immigrants are being deported on a regular basis summing up to hundreds a day and they are deported to their country of birth. As soon as they set foot off the plane or bus they are approached by many who sell them a ticket back to the United States with claimed guarantees to get home safe.
What is expected should be the obvious, it is crooked and it is a crime to reenter, however as desperate needs take over immigrants they end up doing the extreme. A Salvadorian woman states that it is very dangerous and costly (Bazar). With poverty levels in her hometown the Salvadorian woman wanted to better her life and she had borrowed $3000 to pay for her trip, a trip that almost cost her life. As she was deported back to El Salvador she is stuck at a job where she gets paid $5 a day to pay back what she had borrowed. She opted to remain in her country rather than to take that risk again.
The dangers may not be the only reason this Salvadorian woman settled for staying in her country as she would have been in a constant war with ICE if she managed to stay in the United States. The Immigration and Custom Enforcement (ICE) agency's top priority is to remove illegal immigrants (Bazar). Bazar states that ICE, has been raiding job sites, renewing its efforts to track down illegal immigrants with criminal records and stepping up deportations. There seems to be limited approvals for applicants of visas. That even with a minimum of approved permits each year, it gives hope to many. It almost seems like a game of chance, somewhat similar to lottery and with this, there are many who risk their lives on a daily basis. What we see is that there is a greater amount of people willing to try again and again after deportation to be selected for a visa. The problem is the entrance without proper permission is in violation of the law and is called trespassing.
The effort to return for immigrants does not stop at the first return. While some decide it is too risky to return many are willing to take that chance. After their first apprehension they are fingerprinted and a file is recorded for future references. An immigration judge applies a 5 year penalty for first offenders, after the 5 year penalty, the years increase after each apprehension for up to a permanent removal. The fact is that 99.9 percent of the people who come here illegally do so because there's no path for them to come here legally (Filisco). After given a 5 year penalty it can only be imagined that the reasons to return are grand and personal. When the 5 year penalty is over, a person can apply legally to enter the United States.
It is not that easy to apply and be granted the permission and with this in mind many decide to reenter over and over disobeying the law. Illegal immigrants or at least the majority sustain reasonable explanations to return, however a lot of people from here and other countries do not understand this and begin to believe that illegal immigrants are here to take advantage of health benefits (Filisco), although this might be true it is not a proven fact. With corruption and poverty back in their countries it is difficult to have a healthy environment for themselves and their families. With the thoughts of them abusing the health system there are thoughts that illegal immigrants cheat their way in to the country by false marriages and citizenship through their children (Filisco).
The struggle to get here is only one of the difficult phases illegal immigrants face. While it was already hard enough to suffer from starvation to return, the next phase is "hide and go seek." I say this because to live in the United States illegally is tough. No driver's license, no proper documentation for a vehicle, no insurance, no health benefits and no form of legal income can drive many to work and get paid "underneath the table," which means that an illegal immigrant can obtain work and get paid in cash. The duties though can be anything, from labor, construction, house cleaning and many long hours without sleep. They maintain a hidden life so they cannot be detected easily.
Their living becomes emotional and personal, because of all the sweat and tears invested to maintain the unlawful living. Anything to keep their family safe and healthy can create a bit of peace. Until that one day illegal immigrants face deportation. Uncertain of the end result in desperation to be back with their family their only choice is to figure out a way back. Their motivation for return is the reunification with their families rather than just work (Radnovich). It can be devastating to be separated from your family being illegal or not.
Many people claim illegal immigrants are stealing job opportunities and identities. While these statements can be honest without a solution for immigration these kind of criminal offenses are yet to have an end. Crime has followed illegal immigrants in many forms. Not only the crossing illegally, working, driving without a license and renting under someone else's name are crimes but one of the worst kind of crimes are those committed by the organized operations to make profit from immigrants. Illegal immigration is not a crime done alone. While desperate to return, deportees seek help from anyone including cartels, making human trafficking and smuggling a highly dangerous and costly offense.
Here in the state of Arizona, being that we are part of the Mexican border, we hear about these cases daily on the news. There is not a day where I do not hear that someone died while trying to cross the desert. Authorities found the corpses of 129 suspected illegal immigrants last year here in Brooks County, a desolate region of cactus-covered ranch lands (Bustillos). Other stories I hear are those of the many "drop houses" used to hide illegal immigrants supplied by the human smuggling ring. When illegal immigrants accept to be smuggled by an organization, there are risks they take. Numerous extortion calls and violent crimes that take part of these hidden houses. Homicide, rape and humiliation are some of the risks they take every time illegal immigrants pay someone to be smuggled. "A drop point for a human-smuggling operation and that the 10 children, ages 2 to 17, were illegal immigrants being held for ransom" (Lacey). Human trafficking and smuggling are in high demand for the organized crime and they will not hold themselves back when they demand their money, "a Salvadoran women who is living legally in Northern California -- alerted the authorities to the operation late last week when she told the F.B.I. that smugglers had threatened to rape and kill her daughters if she did not pay $10,000" (Lacey).
Homeland Security's main concern with these kind of organizations are the terrorists acts they commit, whether it is by using violence through illegals it can also mean that they are doing this in a country that does not allow this. Since September 11, there has been fear of attacks and it is only correct to control and secure the borders. The fact that illegal immigration is not resolved we are prone and vulnerable. Fear comes from illegal immigrants as well as for citizens of this country.
Illegal immigrants that have been successful in staying here after their survival of being smuggled or walking for days manage a living in one way or another. Their reasons to continue on this path are well intended. However, they are not seen this way according to them. It is a constant racial war and it is what they stand behind to defend their stay even more. National and international news casts report that in the state of Arizona a Sheriff by the name of Joe Arpaio has put up a huge fight against illegal immigration. "My office has been responsible for finding and identifying 25% of the nation's illegal alien criminal offenders through the state-federal immigration law enforcement partnership known as the 287(g) program" (Arpaio). The Sheriff claims it is a fair and justiciable right to enforce these laws to keep our communities and Nation safe. Even if this authority assisted in the identification of illegals, racism followed it everywhere and it was soon taken off of Arpaio's hands.
ICE in the other hand continues its efforts to track illegals and illegal activities. Recently there was a news article that proves that the "hide and go seek" game exists within illegals. As they try to stay under the radar, because they need income they accept jobs that sooner or later will reveal their hide out. "Agents rounded up 223 people, most of them in the United States illegally" (Santos). This was a raid that was conducted in a Phoenix, Arizona carwash named "Danny's Family Carwash." Most of them were released shortly after. If anyone carefully considers this to review, there are many controversies. There are crimes being committed, the use of a fake social security numbers is a crime, but the fact that they do this is because there are no ways illegals can obtain work here in the first place. There is no justification for identity theft but what other choice do they have? If there was a way for them to work there could be a chance that they will work for good reasons.
Crime should be punished in all extent of the law. There are no considerations for family and survival, and if there were, crimes such as identity theft would be lessened. Families are being destroyed, children are being traumatized and marriages become close to extinct between a citizen and a deportee. There are pleads and there are concerns with deportees returning. However if the person being deported would comply with the laws in the first place there would be a greater chance for them obtaining legal documents. A Jamaican woman struggles to find answers to her husband's return (Persaud). The answers vary and it all depends on the terms given when her husband was deported. If her husband was given a 5 year penalty there is no choice but to wait. Patience will be needed but the emotional needs can interfere with the law.
Now People like the Jamaican woman's husband can see hope and a chance to better their life and reunite. Today, there is a congressional effort to change immigration law (Cave), this would give a second chance to tens of thousands of deportees without criminal history (cave). If her husband can prove that he has not committed any crimes he might have a ticket back in. Nationality, race, gender or age will not matter if this Bill goes through as many could be concerned. Those that are deported are of different countries and not just Mexico.
It is understandable that there is a need to survive. In this country Americans struggle financially and emotionally as well. No one wants to be starved and no one likes corruption. Illegal immigrants are here because there is no way to survive in a country where life is limited. Mexico is in constant war with corruption, drug trafficking and their economy but there are many other countries going through the same. The United States can be amongst those countries but our government has had better luck. It is better organized than other countries.
In the meantime, The United States can make "chasing the dream" more feasible. As we are seen as a free country many strive to get here. Many are their cries to make us help them and how can that be accomplished? Our borders need to be secured and laws have to remain enforced for the safety of everyone. Living in the United States illegally can be more stable than living surrounded by crime. Illegal Immigrant's choice becomes living illegally rather than in fear and if when they face deportation they become committed to nothing else but to survive and reunite with their families.
Our country portrays security and peace that motivates this behavior in people from other countries. What needs to be done or what is asked to them is mainly the compliance of our laws. Illegal immigrants are committing a crime already that any other crimes done while being here are not acceptable. It might not be possible if there is no way to work legally, for them their only choice is living illegally. Obtaining the necessary to survive individually or with family can be their only sanctuary. Life preservation is everyone's concern and as for illegal immigrants this is well comprehended. Their hidden life within the states becomes their only attachment and if deported, no matter how many times and dangerous risks they have to overcome, their reunification and wellbeing is sufficient hunger to return.
