Undergraduate / extracurricular, personal activities, or work experiences? [4]

You really need to talk about what you did...not what extracurricular can do for others! Did you volunteer? Play an instrument? No?...then you need to make something up!

Undergraduate / I come from two different cultures; UC Personal Statement [6]

This should be a lot longer. You need to elaborate more on everything. It feels like you are just providing a small glance into your life. I would talk about how you have grown as a person by being multicultral and eliminate the bullying stage because it makes you look immature. Your writing style is also a little casual. Make it more formal!

Undergraduate / ADOPTION; U Wisconsin Madison - UNNOTICED [3]

It's pretty good. I would elaborate more on how adoption has made you a better person and your sister...