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Posts by surfermgad
Joined: Sep 20, 2013
Last Post: Sep 25, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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surfermgad   
Sep 22, 2013
Undergraduate / I want to help people; MED school Personal statement [3]

sagar0092

Looks pretty good.

1. I want to make the most of my life to make the biggest differences I am capable of and I believe medicine is the best path to do so.

Sentence is unclear...probably needs to be 2 sentences
2. For a lot of people It is not about money, respect, or competition It is about those who cannot help themselves; those who rely on a complete stranger with their lives. It is our responsibility to help stay the course and be of service on our to the best of our abilities.

I used a similar point in my PA school statement. I would stay away from pointing a finger. Maybe talk more about your feelings about the superficial/material gains from being a doctor. Keep the words "money, respect, or competition", they are good. I would be more emphatic and break it up a little see bold insertions above.

I will get back to this


3. There are a lot of well-qualified people that could be destined for medical school, many of them more intelligent than I may be, but they could lack

There is a minor contradiction: "-well-qualified people...they could lack-" I know exactly what you are saying. It's just good to be precise

4. I have an uncle who is an excellent pediatrician but if you ask him how to change the oil in a car, cook a meal, or set up a network router he wouldn't know where to start.

very funny but if you dont explain how this would limit your uncle it leaves me hanging, and keep in mind the adcoms might be like your uncle

5. You need a good closing, and I don't think it should be short, but that's my opinion. Use your opening line to get ideas "I want to help people but more importantly help them in a way that changes their lives as well as affect the most people possible." (I was once advised: to write a good paper, you start by saying what you want to say, then say it again a few times, and then say one last time at the end)

and try to sum up your main idea, or at least look at your points, for concluding the paper

btw the part about how you can explain things to other students, and most of that paragraph, is really good
surfermgad   
Sep 21, 2013
Undergraduate / I want to help people; MED school Personal statement [3]

sagar0092

Looks pretty good.

1. I want to make the most of my life to make the biggest differences I am capable of and I believe medicine is the best path to do so.

Sentence is unclear...probably 2 sentences
2. For a lot of people It is not about money, respect, or competition It is about those who cannot help themselves; those who rely on a complete stranger with their lives. It is our responsibility to help stay the course and be of service on our to the best of our abilities.

I used a similar point in my PA school statement. I would stay away from pointing a finger. Maybe talk more about your feelings about the superficial/material gains from being a doctor. Keep the words "money, respect, or competition", they are good. I would be more emphatic and break it up a little see bold insertions above.

I will get back to this
surfermgad   
Sep 20, 2013
Undergraduate / Life's been good to me so far; Personal Statement ;PA programs, needs 1/3 reduction [4]

The Purple

The time has come for me to help others through their dark passages. Tragedy and suffering are an integral part of the balance of life; if not preventable, they ultimately cause growth and strength. Not everyone can see the silver lining in pain. For some, pain overthrows, sickness wins. It is in these people that I see my greatest calling. I want to challenge pain and fear simultaneously. I want to be a restorer of hope.

I have always been interested in medicine. Early in life I received my first lesson in healing. In a test of endurance and sanguinity, as a rookie caregiver, I spent an entire year cleaning a bone-deep staph-infected wound on an elderly patient. We both learned to smile even facing daily defeat. Ultimately we triumphed when it closed without reinfection. A team forms between the afflicted and those who help the afflicted. Both players need to be wiling and ready to win. The daily ritual of maintaining high spirits was the key to success. It is tricky navigating the dynamics of a potentially deadly abscess in someone who already needs constant reminding that even a short life left is still worth living. Curing or treating suffering is not just prescribing a remedy; it is facilitating living life to the fullest.

Helping people has always been second nature to me; I am calm and focused during urgent episodes. I discovered this one day walking on a beach. It was my first of many ocean rescues. I heard yells for help and saw a man in distress, far from shore and caught in a rip tide. Without hesitation I grabbed a surfboard and jumped in the ocean. A few minutes later the man was clinging to the surfboard. It was not a complicated ordeal; however a man's life depended on quick and deliberate choices of the moment.

It was while still living in New York City and during 9-11 that I finally decided that I would pursue health care as an occupation. I lost my job like many New Yorkers. I donated clean socks and water at Ground Zero. A rescue worker was asked if I was a nurse, doctor or EMT. I felt helpless shaking my head. I wanted to do more. An epiphany happened. Six months later I became employed at a hospital as an EMT-trained patient care technician. Working at a teaching hospital was the catalyst that motivated me to go back to school for another degree.

While doing post-bacc work, I analyzed the roles in health care and decided the medical model is for me. After relegating money and prestige as subservience/subservient/irrelevant, I ruled out medical school and embraced physician assistant as my path. As a P.A., I intend to pursue family practice and emergency medicine in impoverished areas. When I think of the benefits of health care, what it has done for my family and friends, I am immediately saddened when I think of the millions of people who need but cannot acquire basic or adequate /any /adequate health care. When I watch the military channel I do not see battles being won, I do not see glory, I do not feel patriotic. I fixate on the eyes of the enemy and see kindred pain. I feel immense sadness. We can easily forget the enemy is human, has a family, and feels the same pain. I find it vile that our media portrays a 10 to 1 slaughter as victory. I want to go to war; to provide assistance to anyone who needs it; to help show the world that we are, and will always be, one. After I am given ample opportunity to help people, to become a healer, I hope to find a place at the frontlines of research. The chance to try many fields of medicine is irresistible. Few specialties are outside of my interest. My father, who was a vascular surgeon, always said he would be a family doctor if he could do it all over again. It took a long time before I thought about following his footsteps; partly because he died young of heart disease and partly because he flat out told me to avoid medicine. He said I should be a lawyer; we argued about that. Today, I look forward to the chance to give needed health care in poor areas and make that my primary occupation. Specializing could lead me to monitoring subjects in pharmaceutical trials or using my dexterity to harvest veins. I am excited. Without reservation, I think my father would be proud to lose the argument. My father would be excited.

My passion for science, art, traveling, surfing and playing sports has complimented my pre-medical academics by exposing me to the delights and the extremes of the human condition and enlightening me to our physical limitations. Having entered the workforce, witnessed tragedy and explored the world, I bring a certain depth of wisdom to the classroom. Having been a perpetual B minus student my first time in college, partly due to "gradeless" alternative education, I have learned the purpose of traditional education/methods and striving for excellence, even when it is not calculably not reachable. I am an older student with more experience yet I retain all my youthful curiosity and versatility which allows me to mix with a younger generation. I thrive in study groups where I can share my skills and absorb the different perspectives of other students. If I am given the chance there is no doubt that I will influence other students with my thirst for knowledge and desire to solve serious problems for my fellow man. I strongly hold the belief that we owe it to ourselves to live as long and healthfully as possible. Life is a vehicle that begs to be maintained and treated well. Give me the tools; I will scrupulously and conscientiously use them where they are needed most.
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