Writing Feedback / GED Practice essay: Do you think stronger laws should be enacted to... [4]

Please score my GED practice essay from 1 - 4 (4 being the highest) and let me know what areas I can improve. Thanks.
Topic: Do you think stronger laws should be enacted to protect American citizens from terrorist attacks even at the expense of personal freedoms?

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There's a famous quote by Benjamin Franklin, 'Those who would give up Liberty to purchase temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety'. In the wake of recent terrorist attacks such as 9/11, controversial new laws have been enacted that limit some of our constitutional rights and basic civil liberties. These laws were designed to protect the american public and prevent future attacks. Terrorism poses a threat to people all over the world, and is an issue that must be deal with immediately and effectively. The question is, how much do these laws really protect us, and is it really worth giving up our freedoms?

Among the new laws, the US Patriot Act is one that has gained the most notoriety. The Bush administration signed it into effect following the September 11th attacks that destroyed the world trade center and part of the Pentagon building. They allow government agencies to, without a legal warrant, spy on phone conversations, email and perform other forms of electronic surveillance unknown to the suspect. It also has provisions that allow persons to be detained for indefinite periods following a mere rumour or suspicion. In certain cases this might prevent terrorist activities from being planned and executed within the country. Also, the knowledge that the authorities might be watching will deter some from even trying.

On the other hand, This gives the government free reign to do whatever they please and disrupts the system of checks and balances that prevent one branch from gaining too much power. The authorities might use it for less noble purposes, like quelling anti government sentiment and silencing protesters and opposition party members. Say for instance, You disagreed with certain government policies and decided to voice your opinion on the phone to a friend. What's to stop them from spying on you and using that information to brand you as a terrorist? None, I'm afraid, and if this trend continues we might see the country slowly degenerate into a police state.

Terrorism is an ideology, not a physical entity and this is a fact lawmakers fail to understand. Building a metaphorical 'wall' to keep our enemies at bay only makes things worse. It forces terrorist elements deeper underground and harder to detect. The little security we get is negated by the lack of a long term solution. Only by uniting with world leaders, understanding and addressing global concerns, and working together will we make any progress towards this issue.

All things considered, I definitely do not think it's worth giving up our personal freedoms in exchange for a little perceived safety. The declaration of independence states Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness as unalienable rights, which means that it is a right of every American citizen and cannot be taken away. Terrorism is a scourge upon modern society and must be stopped, but at what cost? Democracy and Liberty is what this country was built upon and if, according to George W. Bush, 'the terrorists hate our freedom' then indeed, the terrorists are winning.

Writing Feedback / GED Practice essay: Do you think people learn from their mistakes? [7]

Please score my GED practice essay from 1 - 4 (4 being the highest) and let me know what areas I can improve. Thanks.
Topic: Do you think people learn from their mistakes?
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Do people learn from their mistakes? I believe most do, but the real question is 'How much?'. As the saying goes, "Experience is the name we give to our mistakes". The lessons we learn from life are the result of all the mistakes we've made in the past. There are 2 kinds of people, Those that view their mistakes as failures, and those that view it as a stepping stone to greatness. Everyone messes up occasionally, we're only human. But learning how to deal with it is a fundamental part of growing up.

The importance of understanding mistakes cannot be understated. On one hand, you have people that never correctly identify their problems, blaming themselves for being inadequate and incapable of performing the task at hand. They end up getting stuck in a mental rut and are bound to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. On the other, there are those that regard mistakes as a learning experience. They look closer at what went wrong, analyze it and use that information to better themselves.

Nobody in this world has never made a mistake, even the greatest of the great in their field, from sports to academia to music. The greatest musicians, from Mozart to Jimi Hendrix were undoubtedly born with a certain level of talent. But in order to play that efficiently they had to make an endless number of errors, playing out of tune and hitting the wrong notes, correcting them and trying again. Only after years of training in this fashion were they able to progress. If they had given up early and saw themselves as failures, they wouldn't have become the legends they are today.

As we grow older we tend to be more cautious of making mistakes. For example, how did you learn to walk as a kid? You would grab onto a support and try to hoist yourself up, eventually falling down and getting back up again. At that age, you didn't understand the meaning of 'mistake' or the negative connotations associated with it, you just knew that if didn't try, you'd never learn how to walk. Unfortunately, as time passes we become more self aware and expect more from ourselves. We get embarrassed and frustrated with our blunders, and shy away from instead of confronting them.

Finally, I'd like to say that people do learn from their mistakes. And those that don't, should. For in order to accomplish anything significant in our lives we must learn to embrace our mistakes and focus not on what went wrong, but on how it could be improved.

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