PICHIRO
Oct 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / Recalling an Experience; NARRATIVE ESSAY [3]
Assignment: write a narrative essay about recalling an experience, MLA format, 600-800 words.
This is my first draft, please feel free to add, change and critique. Thanks. (It is due saturday 26th at midight, so any help is appreciated)
Recalling an Experience
"Do you think your negligence and disregard for school will make our parents take you back home? Well you're wrong, you live here now and they are not going back, so you better get used to it!" said my brother. And that's when it hit me; life was never going to be the same.
I was born in Colombia. When I was about 10 my brother moved to the United States, it wasn't long until my other brother decided to also move to this country, a year later. I never really thought anything about it, always thought they were going to be here for a short while, but it all made sense when, during my last year (before transition to a new campus, like a high school) of elementary school, my parents decided that it was best for them to part from everything and give it a shot at a new opportunity for the whole family, as well as to be together once again.
I studied at a private school where I had been enrolled since I was 3 or 4 years old, and because of the small number of kids, you pretty much knew everyone in your grade, so you could say, we were pretty close. When my parents told me about the decision they had made, I didn't actually take it as serious as it really was, I saw it more like a "oh cool I'm going to Disney" since we were supposed to had moved to Florida, that was the plan, but for reasons I do not have knowledge of, we ended up in Texas.
A few months went by, and the end of the school year was just around the corner. As a 5th grader, being the older kids at school, we got the privilege to get a last field day as a group during the last day of school, before graduation. Some of my closest friends knew I was moving, but it truly was nothing to worry about, I remember I used to tell them, but once of them brought up the fact that even if it was not going to be forever, it was going to be a good while until we would see each other again. I felt impotent and anxious towards the situation, I did not want to leave anymore, but there was nothing I could do about it, we were leaving in 2 weeks.
December 17th 2003, a date I will never forget. I had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to go to the airport to catch our first flight of the day and I was not ready for it.
Plane after plane, we finally arrived to Florida, which we had an 8 hour wait until our next flight to Georgia, everything was so different, especially because I did not speak English, if you can imagine what your Spanish class was like in high school, that's how my level of English was at the time, but thankfully my uncle who had live there for some years was there to help. I remember the first thing I ate was an ice cream cone, it was huge! That's about all I truly remember from that airport in Ft Lauderdale.
Around 9 O'clock p.m. we arrived in Atlanta, where we barely had 2 minutes to go from one plane to the other and almost missed it. We left to Houston and after a long 2 hours we finally arrived, after an exhausting day of getting in and out of airplanes, there they were, my two older brothers, one which I hadn't seen for almost 3 years and the other for almost 2.
Assignment: write a narrative essay about recalling an experience, MLA format, 600-800 words.
This is my first draft, please feel free to add, change and critique. Thanks. (It is due saturday 26th at midight, so any help is appreciated)
Recalling an Experience
"Do you think your negligence and disregard for school will make our parents take you back home? Well you're wrong, you live here now and they are not going back, so you better get used to it!" said my brother. And that's when it hit me; life was never going to be the same.
I was born in Colombia. When I was about 10 my brother moved to the United States, it wasn't long until my other brother decided to also move to this country, a year later. I never really thought anything about it, always thought they were going to be here for a short while, but it all made sense when, during my last year (before transition to a new campus, like a high school) of elementary school, my parents decided that it was best for them to part from everything and give it a shot at a new opportunity for the whole family, as well as to be together once again.
I studied at a private school where I had been enrolled since I was 3 or 4 years old, and because of the small number of kids, you pretty much knew everyone in your grade, so you could say, we were pretty close. When my parents told me about the decision they had made, I didn't actually take it as serious as it really was, I saw it more like a "oh cool I'm going to Disney" since we were supposed to had moved to Florida, that was the plan, but for reasons I do not have knowledge of, we ended up in Texas.
A few months went by, and the end of the school year was just around the corner. As a 5th grader, being the older kids at school, we got the privilege to get a last field day as a group during the last day of school, before graduation. Some of my closest friends knew I was moving, but it truly was nothing to worry about, I remember I used to tell them, but once of them brought up the fact that even if it was not going to be forever, it was going to be a good while until we would see each other again. I felt impotent and anxious towards the situation, I did not want to leave anymore, but there was nothing I could do about it, we were leaving in 2 weeks.
December 17th 2003, a date I will never forget. I had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to go to the airport to catch our first flight of the day and I was not ready for it.
Plane after plane, we finally arrived to Florida, which we had an 8 hour wait until our next flight to Georgia, everything was so different, especially because I did not speak English, if you can imagine what your Spanish class was like in high school, that's how my level of English was at the time, but thankfully my uncle who had live there for some years was there to help. I remember the first thing I ate was an ice cream cone, it was huge! That's about all I truly remember from that airport in Ft Lauderdale.
Around 9 O'clock p.m. we arrived in Atlanta, where we barely had 2 minutes to go from one plane to the other and almost missed it. We left to Houston and after a long 2 hours we finally arrived, after an exhausting day of getting in and out of airplanes, there they were, my two older brothers, one which I hadn't seen for almost 3 years and the other for almost 2.
