Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Gregore2000
Name: Gregory Chan
Joined: Oct 27, 2013
Last Post: Oct 27, 2013
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Gregore2000   
Oct 27, 2013
Undergraduate / To see all of the little lights; Common App/ Where are you most content? [7]

I agree with Anumeha. Your writing is very descriptive, but the discussion of your favorite quote seems awkward. Perhaps, if you transitioned between you and your brother running along the tracks and exchanging your favorite quotes the flow of the essay would be better. Your choice of place is great as well as how you enjoyed spending time with your brother. Good luck!
Gregore2000   
Oct 27, 2013
Undergraduate / That flight brought me here; PLACE/ ENVIRONMENT - Perfectly content [6]

Great essay. I love the repetition at the end, which really reiterates why you love being in a plane. The sentence about how 650 words isn't enough to explain what you learned in America is not very accurate though, as your essay is clearly under that amount. Overall, however, the writing is very descriptive and interesting to read. If you have a chance, please take a look at mine and comment. Thanks and good luck!

Edit: Sorry I didn't see you uploaded a revised version. I like how you compared your experience back then to now, 9 years later.
Gregore2000   
Oct 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Common App Essay - Garage sale as a place where I am content [3]

Is there anything that I can improve with this essay? If there is, please comment! Thanks

Prompt: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

A tattered copy of Boy by Roald Dahl with pages 97 through 100 missing, a cash register with a missing key, and an antique brass typewriter. I remember these objects arranged in my room, now about to be given away, and feel a pang of nostalgia. Glancing around our yard sale, I notice a few people meandering through the aisles, occasionally picking up a lamp or vase. Suddenly, a potential customer taps me on the back and asks me, "How much for this here?" He point at the book and my mind wanders back to when I was younger, sitting in my bedroom, surrounded by my "treasures."

It seemed just like yesterday that I was secretly bringing Boy up to my room after my bedtime to read them under the covers with a flashlight. Even if it meant being exhausted all day at school and having to wear glasses for the rest of my life, I was determined to finish the next chapter before going to sleep, often staying up past two in the morning to do so.

The cash register that I cherished so dearly also has its own story. Walking past my town's recycling center as I often do, I spotted it, battered and unwanted, at the top of a pile of discarded electronics. Unable to look away, I climbed through mounds of plastic bottles and aluminum cans to reach it, only to find that the tray was locked. My heart raced when I thought about the possibilities of what may lie inside. So I, the illogical eleven-year old, lugged the twenty-odd pound thing back to my house, where I sat for two hours meticulously trying to unlock it with my lock picking set. The reward, however, was well worth the wait because sitting there inside were three crisp twenty dollar bills circa 1978, which I still keep inside my drawer as a reminder that anything can be accomplished with hard work.

That typewriter, my grandmother had as a child. I loved to press those keys, hearing the satisfying clicks as the types hit the paper. I spent my nights needlessly typing up my homework, just to watch the letters appear on the page like magic and to see how the lever moved up and down.

I'm snapped back to reality when I hear the customer asks again, "How much for this here?" I answer with a wistful murmur, "Five dollars." I look around again and realize that a part of my life is about to transition into a new phase. Like a butterfly, I have transformed from my younger self, yet still retaining some remnants of the past. Still today, I stay up into the wee hours of the night reading Reddit and tech articles online until I am almost physically forced by my mom to go to sleep. Still, I scour through what others see as junk, hoping to find a hidden treasure unbeknownst to anyone else, something I can lug back to my room. And still, I meddle with gizmos, examining and figuring out how they work. Letting go of those ancient "treasures" was not, as I thought at the time, like losing my childhood. Rather, it was a chance to go out into the world and experience new things and open new doors.

Now, whenever I pass a sign reading "Garage Sale!" I think back on my younger self and smile, glad that what I experienced during my adolescence has shaped who I am.
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