Undergraduate / "What does FAMILY mean to you?" ; CENTRAL to IDENTITY [3]

Question: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

"What does FAMILY mean to you?" my fifth grade teacher asked the class.

"Of course it is father and mother who love you! Every family must have a father and a mother," a proud voice echoed throughout the classroom.

I can never forget how red and hot my face turned that I felt like a volcano would erupt underneath. I was shocked, finding myself unable to speak for the first time, because back then I did not believe I had a "family" at all.

My parents separated before I was born, and my mother raised my sister and me. When I turned one, the Asian financial crisis exacerbated my single working mother's immense burdens. The hardships eventually compelled her to send us to "foster care", a decision that has shaped my life. Throughout the following ten years, I was raised by her friend who took care of other kids in similar situations.

Life in the foster house was hard. The hardest was not that there were many rules to follow: I would be beaten if I did not follow the rules like finishing every meal, which sometimes included my tears and mucus. The hardest was that I had to grow up mentally in such a short time. I faced overwhelming challenges alone by living in such a strict environment without my loving mother's support. Although I could have shared my unhappy experiences with others I never did.

Back then I was afraid of being thought of as vulnerable. I did not want people to worry about me. I wanted everyone to see me as a strong, mature and independent person. The desire of becoming strong slowly took root and remains with me today.

Sometimes, even though I appeared to be strong, I faced considerable emotional struggles and was engulfed by negative feelings inside. Over time I have learnt how to deal with these pent-up emotions-writing a diary. It has recorded all my ups and downs, acting as not only an emotional outlet but also a source of mental support. When I am on the verge of breaking down, reading all the entries has reassuringly comforted me, and most importantly it has built my confidence because these journals illustrate my transformation from a disoriented, weak girl to a strong, independent woman today.

Now looking back, I have mixed feelings towards the foster house. It has given me countless nightmares in my childhood, but I owe a debt of gratitude to that exact same place that has defined who I am today. Had I not been sent to that house for ten years, I would not have developed the perseverance to achieve tasks that seem insurmountable: in seventh grade, while everyone believed that I was destined to be a C grade student, I was determined to make a difference. After four years of laboriously hard work, my tenacity to refuse to settle for mediocrity paid off when I finally became an A grade student.

It is those ten years that have given me courage to pursue my dream and have convinced me that nothing is impossible. It is also those ten years that have reinstilled the value of "family" in me. Had I not lived apart from my mother for ten years, I would not have known that she loves my sister and me so much that she chose to sacrifice her one chance to see us grow up in order to build us a real home for the future. I realize that my family has always been around but I just did not know at that time. It does not matter who is in the family. What really matters is the family spirit-there is always someone willing to sacrifice anything just to strengthen the family bond that binds the others together. And yes, this is my FAMILY.

Not sure if it flows just fine! Hope that it won't sound too negative. Any inputs would be appreciated!! Thanks!!!!