Writing Feedback / Ielts: cement and concrete production graph [4]

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Write at least 150 words

Source:Cambridge IELTS 8 Practice Tests Academic Writing Test 3 Task 1.

The diagrams describe the processes of cement and concrete production for construction purpose. As can be seen immediately, the whole sequences are laid out in various steps.

Initially, limestone and clay are introduced into a crusher where they are crushed to powder. Following that, a mixer is responsible for combining these powder to mixture, which consequently move an equipment called rotating heater. In this stage, mixture of crushed limestone and clay is heated and transferred to grinder. After passing though this machine, a complete product of cement is ready to packed in bags and used for producing concrete. At the first stage of concrete production procedure, a mixture which consists of 15% cement, 10% water, 25% sand and 50% grave - a kind of small stone - is concocted together in a concrete mixer. The outcome of this level is complete concrete which is able to use for building.

To summarize, the processes of producing cement and concrete covers multi steps, in which although concrete production consists of fewer steps, it requires more materials than cement production.

Please help me correct the writing above. Thanks!

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  cementconcreteprod.png