mishal_horan
Jan 6, 2014
Writing Feedback / Why or why not should high schools require hours of community work? GOVERNORS SCHOOL [6]
This essay I wrote is for Governors school. My subject was "why or why not should high schools require community work hours in order to graduate. Some believe forcin it doesn't count as volunteerism anymore. I already had one teacher edit it, but i dont think she did a good job. Please be very picky and help me add longer and more complicated vocabulary. The second paragraph is a rebuttal, does it sound okay? thank you, if you edit mines, i will help you with yours also. Thanks
In order to be a part of a humane and civilized society, giving back to the community is important. Young people under the age of 18 are the best candidate to volunteer in the community because they have plenty of energy to contribute, and also fresh new ideas. High schools should require students to complete certain hours of community work because it will expose them to different environments, and the valuable skills they will gain will be beneficial in all aspects of life.
Some parents and students might argue requiring hours of volunteer work is not considered volunteerism and forcing a student will never benefit the volunteer or the cause. But it is important to understand, high schools are supposed to guide students. Without support, a teenager will never know how to take the first step in order to help his or her community. After completing the required hours, a lot of students discover that helping someone is their true passion.
There is so much more to education than learning facts that are written in a text book. Education is learning how to live life selflessly by giving back. Younger generations are unaware of what takes place around them. Volunteerism will expand horizons and will prove to them how fortunate they are. Interacting with people less fortunate at a soup kitchen will help adolescent understand that there are many people who do not have enough to feed themselves or their families. Experiences such as this will open the eyes of teenagers, allowing the chance to see a world beyond all the luxuries. Teenagers are rarely exposed to what is considered the "real world". Teenagers can sometimes be a bit selfish, but a selfless act such as volunteering can help them become better citizens.
When a student volunteers, he or she is helping the community, but also helping themselves. Volunteering promotes interaction with people of different kinds, sharpening communication and social skills. These skills are crucial for an individual to succeed in life because it helps them work cooperatively with others and gives them enough confidence to communicate effectively. It is necessary to learn to express ideas and thoughts without adversity. Problem solving skills are also adopted, that can be applied to one's professional life later on. These skills can be helpful for the individual and also people around him or her. If students use volunteering skills they learned, as adults, maybe today's economic issues can be solved.
A high school education will not be completed if students are not encouraged to donate their time to others who are in need. At this critical age, students should be exposed to different cultures, environments and people. Also experiencing hard work will prepare for what lies ahead in life. Students should be forced to complete volunteer work in order to graduate because it will teach them invaluable skills and broaden their views.
This essay I wrote is for Governors school. My subject was "why or why not should high schools require community work hours in order to graduate. Some believe forcin it doesn't count as volunteerism anymore. I already had one teacher edit it, but i dont think she did a good job. Please be very picky and help me add longer and more complicated vocabulary. The second paragraph is a rebuttal, does it sound okay? thank you, if you edit mines, i will help you with yours also. Thanks
In order to be a part of a humane and civilized society, giving back to the community is important. Young people under the age of 18 are the best candidate to volunteer in the community because they have plenty of energy to contribute, and also fresh new ideas. High schools should require students to complete certain hours of community work because it will expose them to different environments, and the valuable skills they will gain will be beneficial in all aspects of life.
Some parents and students might argue requiring hours of volunteer work is not considered volunteerism and forcing a student will never benefit the volunteer or the cause. But it is important to understand, high schools are supposed to guide students. Without support, a teenager will never know how to take the first step in order to help his or her community. After completing the required hours, a lot of students discover that helping someone is their true passion.
There is so much more to education than learning facts that are written in a text book. Education is learning how to live life selflessly by giving back. Younger generations are unaware of what takes place around them. Volunteerism will expand horizons and will prove to them how fortunate they are. Interacting with people less fortunate at a soup kitchen will help adolescent understand that there are many people who do not have enough to feed themselves or their families. Experiences such as this will open the eyes of teenagers, allowing the chance to see a world beyond all the luxuries. Teenagers are rarely exposed to what is considered the "real world". Teenagers can sometimes be a bit selfish, but a selfless act such as volunteering can help them become better citizens.
When a student volunteers, he or she is helping the community, but also helping themselves. Volunteering promotes interaction with people of different kinds, sharpening communication and social skills. These skills are crucial for an individual to succeed in life because it helps them work cooperatively with others and gives them enough confidence to communicate effectively. It is necessary to learn to express ideas and thoughts without adversity. Problem solving skills are also adopted, that can be applied to one's professional life later on. These skills can be helpful for the individual and also people around him or her. If students use volunteering skills they learned, as adults, maybe today's economic issues can be solved.
A high school education will not be completed if students are not encouraged to donate their time to others who are in need. At this critical age, students should be exposed to different cultures, environments and people. Also experiencing hard work will prepare for what lies ahead in life. Students should be forced to complete volunteer work in order to graduate because it will teach them invaluable skills and broaden their views.
