Posts by oktaHrp

oktaHrp

Oct 8, 2014

Writing Feedback / Academic Writing IELTS about numbers of computer users - graph [4]

make sure you write at least 150 words for task 1 and 250 words for task 2.

oktaHrp

Oct 8, 2014

Writing Feedback / Many people feel that natural resources such as air, oceans, rivers, and forests are under threat. [4]

~~In all forests huge numbers of different animals are living~~

The huge numbers of different animals are living in forests.

if you want make sentence with preposition, you can use the following pattern

Subject + Verb + Object + Prep. + Adverb of time/place

or

Prep. + Adverb of time/place + (,) + Subject + Verb + Object

oktaHrp

Jun 3, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS - If Police should carry guns or not? [7]

I think you should give example that balanced between body 1 and body 2 . Perhaps, you can make once more example in body 2. I agree with Eddies comment, EXPLAIN and ALTERNATIVE in every bodies are important for give more strong reasons.

oktaHrp

Jun 3, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing: Number of phone services in US - line graph essay [3]

Given is the line graph presenting the overall spending on mobiles phone services and land line phone services throughout 2001 and 2010 in United States.

It is clear that expenditure cell phone services gradually increased. Opposite, spending on residential services fall steadily. The year 2006, consumer on mobiles overtook that for residential phones.

A closer look at the data reveals that in the first moment, an average of just over $200 rose quickly on expenditures of mobiles. By contras, consumers of residential services dropped slightly to just under $700. In around half decade, selling on cell phone increased dramatically to just above $450, while the figure of expenditure on land line phone services declined by nearly $200.

In 2006, on both on phone services outlaid the same figure at approximately $500 on each. In over the 10 years period, the average on cell phones had still risen around $750, while the figure on land line services had decreased to just over $400.

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