Undergraduate / Mowing grass; I find solace and determination in my work - Common app [3]

Cutting Out
The sound of the motor surrounds me, and the scent of burning gas fills my nostrils as I take my first step. I am enveloped and warmed by the sun's rays as I have been so many times before. Sweat begins to seep out from my pores, down my face and into my eyes and mouth. With sleeves rolled to my shoulders, I reach up to slick back my hair and embrace a world I know so well: birds soaring through the sky, crickets crawling and chirping through the grass, and the neighborhood cat basking in the sun. All I can hear is the low hum of the mower, yet all I listen to are the rambling thoughts in my head.

I find solace and determination in my work. For the past six years I have found this experience a form of meditation, of deep thought. I escape reality and retreat to a place deep in my mind. I don't need to focus on the ritualistic turning of the mower, or on the revolving blade cutting the fresh, moist grass beneath my feet. My mind is clear, and for a moment the anxieties of life dissolve.

Middle school was a frustrating time for me. My parents were battling through a divorce, and though I didn't express my grief, their parting affected me in many ways. My grades dropped from As to Cs, my social life became dull, and I had no sense of belonging. After long and stressful days at school, I came home to arguing parents. Often, I would sit by the computer for hours or play a game of cards with whomever was willing. During this time, I found that the hours most meaningful to me were the ones I spent mowing lawns. The haven that started in my own backyard eventually included an entire neighborhood.

Mowing grass was, and is, a way to let myself go. I get a euphoric rush from the activity, a feeling of complete free-mindedness. My thoughts jump from a beautiful girl at school, to wondering how the Panthers will perform on Sunday, and then back again to the hum of the mower. In these trivial thoughts I find peace. This relaxation, a kind of meditation, eases my troubled mind.

Through mowing lawns I have learned how vital it is to simply unwind. When life is full of anxiety and confusion, I have learned that stepping away from the stress and freeing my mind brings comfort. Even if for just an hour or two a day, this "cutting out" can bring a sense of calm and focus to my mind. Mowing lawns continues to be my antidote to the stresses of school, sports, family, and other social pressures.

Something about the freshly cut clumps of grass in the yard, the ritual stepping and turning of my feet, the pulsing of the mower, and the taste of salty sweat in my mouth gives me a sense of freedom from the pressures and worries of life. The hypnotic drone of the motor silences and stills my mind. When it stops I look up to the blue sky, smell the newly cut grass, and see the cat still basking in the sun. The world has not changed, but now it looks fresh.