gingerfly
Oct 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY: Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. [5]
Topic: Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. Some believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. Others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There has been a rise in serious crime in the area where people live recently.People are involved in the discussion about whether the crime can be prevented basically.The focus of this essay is on the causes of and solutions to this issue.
One important solution related to reduce crime is that the police take action to tackle the threat made against a frightened citizens. Certainly, it will be helpful for those who scared of being attacked if criminals are carried a particular punishment. It was because of weak supervision by local authorities and the poor security, the crime, such as robbery, assault, mugging etc, occurs frequently. There has been a sharp decrease in offense since a lawbreaker was sentenced to death.
On the other hand, the major criticism is that government which might have coped with the trouble is responsible for deterring crime. Moreover, it is impossible to eliminate problem as a consequence of a widening wealth gap.Owing to the gap between rich and poor is growing, the poor are always be there.For example, a person who was put in jail has no survival skills after being freed from jail, then he will return to a life of crime/ commit crimes at the second time.Therefore, crime would be eradicated even though the government promulgated relevant laws and regulations.
From a personal point of view, it is necessary to tighten the security with the help of neighborhood committees. For example, security forces remained on patrol until late into the night. In addition,the self-preservation consciousness of people needs to be raised. Schools have a responsibility to instruct children in practical self-defense techniques.
Please check my essay and tell me about my grammer mistakes.
Topic: Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. Some believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. Others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There has been a rise in serious crime in the area where people live recently.People are involved in the discussion about whether the crime can be prevented basically.The focus of this essay is on the causes of and solutions to this issue.
One important solution related to reduce crime is that the police take action to tackle the threat made against a frightened citizens. Certainly, it will be helpful for those who scared of being attacked if criminals are carried a particular punishment. It was because of weak supervision by local authorities and the poor security, the crime, such as robbery, assault, mugging etc, occurs frequently. There has been a sharp decrease in offense since a lawbreaker was sentenced to death.
On the other hand, the major criticism is that government which might have coped with the trouble is responsible for deterring crime. Moreover, it is impossible to eliminate problem as a consequence of a widening wealth gap.Owing to the gap between rich and poor is growing, the poor are always be there.For example, a person who was put in jail has no survival skills after being freed from jail, then he will return to a life of crime/ commit crimes at the second time.Therefore, crime would be eradicated even though the government promulgated relevant laws and regulations.
From a personal point of view, it is necessary to tighten the security with the help of neighborhood committees. For example, security forces remained on patrol until late into the night. In addition,the self-preservation consciousness of people needs to be raised. Schools have a responsibility to instruct children in practical self-defense techniques.
Please check my essay and tell me about my grammer mistakes.