KilliaS
Oct 16, 2014
Undergraduate / My leadership role was to introduce and mentor incoming cadets to facets of Culver life; AIR FORCE [4]
Thank you for the help! What part would be best to revise first? I talked a lot about my background with Jordan rather than CMA because I wanted to emphasize how close he had become to me and how far he had come himself, thus making the decision difficult and I'd like to talk more about CMA but I'm exactly at 500. Thoughts?
I had also thought about revising the structure to make the essay more attention grabbing to the admissions panel:
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." This is what makes toleration the backbone of the honor code, and provides protection against dishonorable cadets. It's the most difficult part because although I had done nothing wrong, I was put in an ethical dilemma resulting in the lost of my best friend. However, I realize there are times one will have to pay a high price for standing by their convictions, and to be a leader, I must be able to make tough decisions and carry them out regardless of the consequences. In tenth grade, my leadership role was to introduce and mentor incoming cadets to facets of Culver life. When Jordan arrived, he struggled with academics, inspections, and was convicted of an alcohol violation within the first month. However, we worked through these setbacks, and by the end of his freshman year, he had become one of the top ranked cadets in his class and was appointed to the regimental color guard. By sophomore year, we had become best friends. We hung and worked out together almost every day, and he often stayed at my house on vacations. An evening in February, he came to my room and asked if I wanted to smoke with him. I told Jordan no and warned him of the damaging consequences. He assured me nobody would find out and persisted, and I told him I would have no part in the self-destruction of his future. Two weeks later, the commandant announced all contraband was to be surrendered immediately. Our counselor came to my room later that evening while Jordan and I were studying and asked it we had anything to give up. I answered no and then looked at Jordan who paused and then said "no, of course not." Our counselor left, and I asked why he had lied. He said he was on thin ice after his alcohol violation and if he were caught smoking, he would be dismissed. I reminded him of our school's honor code and my responsibility to abide by it. He replied, "If you're my true friend, you'll make an exception." I responded "If you were truly my friend, you wouldn't put me in this position. As cadets, we are guardians of the honor code; it depends on us for its survival. If I make an exception for you, I would have to make one for everyone." After a final warning, I turned Jordan in the next day. After facing the honor and disciplinary councils, Jordan was asked to leave Culver and we never spoke again. Although Jordan was my best friend, he could not be a leader, because he would set the example for others to follow and he did not have integrity, he could not expect others to. I have no regrets about my decision and I would do the same again at the United States Air Force Academy - even if it means loosing my best friend.
Thank you for the help! What part would be best to revise first? I talked a lot about my background with Jordan rather than CMA because I wanted to emphasize how close he had become to me and how far he had come himself, thus making the decision difficult and I'd like to talk more about CMA but I'm exactly at 500. Thoughts?
I had also thought about revising the structure to make the essay more attention grabbing to the admissions panel:
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." This is what makes toleration the backbone of the honor code, and provides protection against dishonorable cadets. It's the most difficult part because although I had done nothing wrong, I was put in an ethical dilemma resulting in the lost of my best friend. However, I realize there are times one will have to pay a high price for standing by their convictions, and to be a leader, I must be able to make tough decisions and carry them out regardless of the consequences. In tenth grade, my leadership role was to introduce and mentor incoming cadets to facets of Culver life. When Jordan arrived, he struggled with academics, inspections, and was convicted of an alcohol violation within the first month. However, we worked through these setbacks, and by the end of his freshman year, he had become one of the top ranked cadets in his class and was appointed to the regimental color guard. By sophomore year, we had become best friends. We hung and worked out together almost every day, and he often stayed at my house on vacations. An evening in February, he came to my room and asked if I wanted to smoke with him. I told Jordan no and warned him of the damaging consequences. He assured me nobody would find out and persisted, and I told him I would have no part in the self-destruction of his future. Two weeks later, the commandant announced all contraband was to be surrendered immediately. Our counselor came to my room later that evening while Jordan and I were studying and asked it we had anything to give up. I answered no and then looked at Jordan who paused and then said "no, of course not." Our counselor left, and I asked why he had lied. He said he was on thin ice after his alcohol violation and if he were caught smoking, he would be dismissed. I reminded him of our school's honor code and my responsibility to abide by it. He replied, "If you're my true friend, you'll make an exception." I responded "If you were truly my friend, you wouldn't put me in this position. As cadets, we are guardians of the honor code; it depends on us for its survival. If I make an exception for you, I would have to make one for everyone." After a final warning, I turned Jordan in the next day. After facing the honor and disciplinary councils, Jordan was asked to leave Culver and we never spoke again. Although Jordan was my best friend, he could not be a leader, because he would set the example for others to follow and he did not have integrity, he could not expect others to. I have no regrets about my decision and I would do the same again at the United States Air Force Academy - even if it means loosing my best friend.