Writing Feedback / I-E-L-T-S competition and co-operate [4]

Topic: some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give own opinion.

Society is developing faster and faster. Everyone needs to catch up the steps. The person who is good at competitions and co-operation would be the perfect guy to survive in this cruel society.

Competition makes people pay more attention on their works. It also makes people becomes more enthusiastic. No one wants other to say that he is bad or he's work is worse than others. Competition can ignite someone's willing to finish his or her products sooner and better, so they put more efforts on it.They don't want to be beat by others. That's a good thing for everyone who doesn't have mood to do anything. Also,the competition makes our society developing more quickly. There are tons of different companies in different areas now.They have to compete to each other if they want to make more money and keep surviving.

On the other hands, I would say that co-operation is way more important than the competition. We are human beings.We are the smartest creatures on earth, and everybody knows that two persons' strength is always more powerful than one's . Think about it, there is no one company which is consisted of only one person.Co-operation makes people communicate to each others, people sharing ideas with each other, and when lots of good ideas come together , a new company may establish.Anyway,the society we are living right now has many different person which means everyone has to used to it and get along with others.Otherwise, you may not be able to have the life as what you want.

I wouldn't say a person who is more competitive is better than a man likes co-operate with others,either reversely. You can not compare them together. Both of them is important for a person being successful.

Can someone helps me to edit it pl z ? :) Thank you so much !!