AHussain
Nov 29, 2014
Undergraduate / Cognitive science is the path where I want to continue my education - UC Transfer PROMPT #1 [2]
You're talking a lot about how you got introduced to the subject but not at all about your experience with it and what you learned from your experience
On a sunny day with clear skies, I passed by a park where I saw a child and her father shooting hoops. He taught her how to aim and shoot perfectperfectly shoot a free throw. At that instant, it triggeredI would use a word other than triggered as the word doesn't mean stimulus. If you want to keep triggered, consider saying "Seeing this triggered me back to when..." back to when my father and I bonded over figuring out missing puzzle pieces or computers. During that moment, it reminded of my father and I heading to electronics stores and I ran down to each of the aisle searching for every different parts that we needed to install our very own computer. What first led my interest in computer was my father, who has instilled much of his influence on me from his love of building computers. At around 8 years old, where I first started to watch my father assemble parts to a computer. It sparked my interest of how every bit of the computer components will need to help run the computer system. It started gradually, as I sat down to watch my father very concentratedvery concentrated father assemble a computer parts by part. andI inquisitively asked my fatherhim questions of how each parts works to get better understanding what he'she was doing. Like" what's a hard drive?"" What would that do?"" What's a motherboard?"" How does that work?"Watching him construct computers extended my interest not only how to assemble it but how computer is beneficial to us human in the future and the impact in our societyReword . Without the invention of computer, our society will not be the same. For instance, people in medical field would not have found much cures to diseases. Hospitals will not be as efficient as well, because computers help monitors patients' health and is able to retrieve records of their health. Computers are the ultimate librarians. I believe computer's intelligence has already surpass the intelligence in humanHospitals will not be as efficient as well, because computers help monitors patients' health and is able to retrieve records of their health. Computers are the ultimate librarians. I believe computer's intelligence has already surpass the intelligence in human . Your memories of building with your dad are a very good way of capturing attention as well as showing how the subject was introduced to you. But, I think the last sentences showing the significance of the computer are unneeded. This essay is about you, not computers. Also I would suggest writing a better transition, it will be easier if those sentences are deleted because you can link your childhood with your dad to "Growing up" in the next paragraph
Growing up, I was a very shykidchild and would never want to participate in class. I would always try to avoid making eye contact with my teachers and curl up behind my classmates as a snail crawling back into their shells. From then on, I was encouraged to participate choir, so I could be more outgoing and interactive with people. Every year, we gathered together and sang in senior's recreation center, retirement homes and even hospitals for patients to ease their pain. Wherever we held performances at any of those places, I always see joy in their eyes and smile across their faces. They're always so delighted to welcome us back.A little unnecessary After one of the performances , I saw an elderly women started to break down in tears. I whenwent over to her and slowly spoke to her to calm her down. I could not control her outbreak. Then nurses came running over to her and I stood there watching nurses being very patient and gentle to her. I felt hopelesshelpless not being able to aid her. Eventually her tears stopped, but her temper began to rise and blood circulating uprushed to her face. She yelled at nurses to leave her alone. Her behavior became tooso aggressive that security guards came and holdheld her down in order to strap back her to the bed. Ultimately, her behavior werewent back to normal after doctors had attended her. After this experience got me interested in researching and studying how elders'the brain functions and .... I'm assuming you didn't know how to finish. I feel like you're going into too much detail of how you got interested in the subject but not talking about an experience, maybe you had an internship or volunteer work you could talk about?
Drawing from my interest in computer science and human behaviors, cognitive science is the path where I want to continue my education.Through driven and resilient, I am still aware of the challenges, as well as the opportunities that lie ahead of me. With a well-rounded education guiding me and further expanding my perspective in my major, I believed I could overcome. Upon admission into the program, I hope to make personal impact and aim to contribute in researchingI don't understand this
Growing up, I was a very shy
Drawing from my interest in computer science and human behaviors, cognitive science is the path where I want to continue my education.
You're talking a lot about how you got introduced to the subject but not at all about your experience with it and what you learned from your experience
