kunell111
Dec 25, 2014
Undergraduate / Speak up. Don't be so shy. Be more assertive. Come out of your shell - I hear it alot... [5]
Prompt:
Recount and incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
Speak up. Don't be so shy. Be more assertive. Come out of your shell.
If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...
Ever since middle school, I have considered myself to be more of an introvert. I was more quiet and soft-spoken than most of my peers, and I enjoyed my time alone. Early on I realized that there was a strong extrovert expectation in most class room settings, and even in most social settings. Leaving me to believe that there wasn't much room for a more reflective, thoughtful style. After all, it seems like extroverts are able to thrive in the kind of activities that I dread. So somewhere down the line I started believing that I had to change to be accepted, that I needed to act more like my extroverted peers to get ahead.
I spent so much energy trying to change who I was, trying to "fit in". I forced myself out of my comfort zone time and again by going to large social gatherings, joining clubs, and participating in conversations I actually had little interest in. But at the end of the day, I just felt drained of energy, and I found myself still dreading the next big social event.
I spent a large portion of my life thinking that my aversion to social gatherings and crowds was a defect or flaw, an obstacle that I had to overcome, but continuously failed to do so. I couldn't even enjoy my solitude because I harbored feelings of resentment for wanting it so frequently. For years I watched people seemingly so easily engaged in small talk-- something I have never found enjoyable-- and calmly give effective presentations in class, while even the thought of such activities would stress me out. I didn't understand why I was unable to enjoy the parties and outings that I figured must be innately enjoyable, despite my failure to tap into that joy. But now looking back, I realize that my true failure was in trying to change who I was in the first place.
For so many years I chased acceptance from others, I put on this fake persona in order to seek their approval, but I became so tired of of pretending to be someone I wasn't, of masking my true self and constantly wishing I could change. I knew I couldn't go on this way. So instead of searching for ways to overcome my introverted tendencies, which is what I had done for years, I tried to find the strengths in them. It was at this point that I was able to discover the true beauty of introversion, and this revelation began when I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain.
Now that I have stopped struggling against my true nature, I finally have come to understand and appreciate the complexities of introversion. It took me a while to come to this realization, to truly accept the more soft-spoken, gentle, introspective side of myself. I use to think that my quiet personality would hold me back, but I have learned that I can still achieve great things simply by effectively harnessing my strengths. Not to say that I shouldn't have to put myself in uncomfortably social or crowded situations, I'm aware that these things are part of life, but I've accepted that these tasks are difficult for me, and I intend to get the right training to make them easier. I plan on using my natural powers of concentration, keen observation, persistence and creative thinking to do work that I love and work that matters. If that requires public speaking or attending large social events, then so be it.
Susan Cain once wrote, "The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of available power, but to use well the kind you've been granted". Well if you give me the chance, I will prove to you that I have what it takes to succeed because of my introverted ways, not it spite of them. It is very possible to be both quiet and powerful.
Prompt:
Recount and incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
Speak up. Don't be so shy. Be more assertive. Come out of your shell.
If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...
Ever since middle school, I have considered myself to be more of an introvert. I was more quiet and soft-spoken than most of my peers, and I enjoyed my time alone. Early on I realized that there was a strong extrovert expectation in most class room settings, and even in most social settings. Leaving me to believe that there wasn't much room for a more reflective, thoughtful style. After all, it seems like extroverts are able to thrive in the kind of activities that I dread. So somewhere down the line I started believing that I had to change to be accepted, that I needed to act more like my extroverted peers to get ahead.
I spent so much energy trying to change who I was, trying to "fit in". I forced myself out of my comfort zone time and again by going to large social gatherings, joining clubs, and participating in conversations I actually had little interest in. But at the end of the day, I just felt drained of energy, and I found myself still dreading the next big social event.
I spent a large portion of my life thinking that my aversion to social gatherings and crowds was a defect or flaw, an obstacle that I had to overcome, but continuously failed to do so. I couldn't even enjoy my solitude because I harbored feelings of resentment for wanting it so frequently. For years I watched people seemingly so easily engaged in small talk-- something I have never found enjoyable-- and calmly give effective presentations in class, while even the thought of such activities would stress me out. I didn't understand why I was unable to enjoy the parties and outings that I figured must be innately enjoyable, despite my failure to tap into that joy. But now looking back, I realize that my true failure was in trying to change who I was in the first place.
For so many years I chased acceptance from others, I put on this fake persona in order to seek their approval, but I became so tired of of pretending to be someone I wasn't, of masking my true self and constantly wishing I could change. I knew I couldn't go on this way. So instead of searching for ways to overcome my introverted tendencies, which is what I had done for years, I tried to find the strengths in them. It was at this point that I was able to discover the true beauty of introversion, and this revelation began when I read the book Quiet by Susan Cain.
Now that I have stopped struggling against my true nature, I finally have come to understand and appreciate the complexities of introversion. It took me a while to come to this realization, to truly accept the more soft-spoken, gentle, introspective side of myself. I use to think that my quiet personality would hold me back, but I have learned that I can still achieve great things simply by effectively harnessing my strengths. Not to say that I shouldn't have to put myself in uncomfortably social or crowded situations, I'm aware that these things are part of life, but I've accepted that these tasks are difficult for me, and I intend to get the right training to make them easier. I plan on using my natural powers of concentration, keen observation, persistence and creative thinking to do work that I love and work that matters. If that requires public speaking or attending large social events, then so be it.
Susan Cain once wrote, "The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of available power, but to use well the kind you've been granted". Well if you give me the chance, I will prove to you that I have what it takes to succeed because of my introverted ways, not it spite of them. It is very possible to be both quiet and powerful.