Writing Feedback / Young officials recruited from prestigious colleges are needed to be a part of the government [4]

Could anyone help me in correcting the essay.

Topic: Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Government is the responsible unit for better functioning of the society. Actions taken by the government will be responsible for growth of a society. Thus, we can derive the fact that persons holding the key positions are creditworthy for proper functioning of the government. Some claim that younger people must be recruited for important positions and the rest vote for experienced officials. I feel that right combination of youth and experience is required in government key positions and this essay will focus on this point.

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