han4
Jun 21, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should sports athletes be rewarded with high salary? [3]
Essay Question:
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
My Attempt:
In the past few decades of sports history, most athletes either won gold medal in Olympic or major championship have been treated by the public as stars and heroes of their nation, and compensated with huge salaries just as the artists of movie and music industry. This has raised controversial debate whether this amount of compensation is reasonable as some professions had contributed to the society and country but were not rewarded with large salaries. In my opinion, I believe that it is justifiable to offer sports professional with high salary as their career have shorter life-cycle and require huge commitments.
To begin with, sports athletes are exposed to the risk of shorten career. Most fields consist of body contact during the competition or practice session. Additionally, competitions are always intense; thus, the likelihood of players suffer injuries are feasible, and some may even end their professions. Being incapable participate in this industry, they may easily find themselves struggle with their livings as they do not have other income stream as a result of lack of education and job experience. This can be easily evident from renowned sports competition such as National Basketball Association (NBA) and Australia Football League (AFL) where several players' glittering career was cut short by injuries. As this show, remunerating sports athlete with high salaries will allow them to warrant against their short term career.
Secondly, the amount of commitment require for every player in sports industry is massive as it is not a normal 8 hours job that begins from 9:00 am and ends at 6:00 pm. To be successful and competitive, athletes have to attend each training session that run from early morning to night with the aim of preparing the best condition of themselves for upcoming matches. Moreover, most competitions run throughout the year and players have to travel interstate frequently. Considering the mass volume of time and efforts of the players have to put, it is acceptable to compensate them with greater pay.
As a conclusion, it is justified to reward sports athlete with higher salaries in consideration of their risky career and commitments required. However, the society should not underrate the contributions of other profession. Any profession that contributes to the society and the country should be valued and respected.
Please comment and correct my essay. I am trying to improve my writing skills.
Thank you!
Essay Question:
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
My Attempt:
In the past few decades of sports history, most athletes either won gold medal in Olympic or major championship have been treated by the public as stars and heroes of their nation, and compensated with huge salaries just as the artists of movie and music industry. This has raised controversial debate whether this amount of compensation is reasonable as some professions had contributed to the society and country but were not rewarded with large salaries. In my opinion, I believe that it is justifiable to offer sports professional with high salary as their career have shorter life-cycle and require huge commitments.
To begin with, sports athletes are exposed to the risk of shorten career. Most fields consist of body contact during the competition or practice session. Additionally, competitions are always intense; thus, the likelihood of players suffer injuries are feasible, and some may even end their professions. Being incapable participate in this industry, they may easily find themselves struggle with their livings as they do not have other income stream as a result of lack of education and job experience. This can be easily evident from renowned sports competition such as National Basketball Association (NBA) and Australia Football League (AFL) where several players' glittering career was cut short by injuries. As this show, remunerating sports athlete with high salaries will allow them to warrant against their short term career.
Secondly, the amount of commitment require for every player in sports industry is massive as it is not a normal 8 hours job that begins from 9:00 am and ends at 6:00 pm. To be successful and competitive, athletes have to attend each training session that run from early morning to night with the aim of preparing the best condition of themselves for upcoming matches. Moreover, most competitions run throughout the year and players have to travel interstate frequently. Considering the mass volume of time and efforts of the players have to put, it is acceptable to compensate them with greater pay.
As a conclusion, it is justified to reward sports athlete with higher salaries in consideration of their risky career and commitments required. However, the society should not underrate the contributions of other profession. Any profession that contributes to the society and the country should be valued and respected.
Please comment and correct my essay. I am trying to improve my writing skills.
Thank you!