Writing Feedback / Success is to achieve one's dreams and wishes but not all successful scenarios end in happiness [3]

Hey there!

your essay was very good but I think it can still use some tweaking here and there. What you could do is before you conclude you can write a few lines about how success is not always disastrous. You could maybe, present a counter argument. In doing so you will be showing the reader your analytical skills, which is what the readers are looking out for. You can also add a few transitional phrases like moreover, nevertheless, meanwhile, furthermore, etc which will help with the flow of ideas. Hope that helps a bit! :D