Undergraduate / "When i learned compromise" (expert) - FASHION INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY ADMISSION ESSAY Fashion merch [3]

i wanted to start off my essay with an experience i went through that could show my personality as well (i want to appear ambitious, with lots of ideas but a person who will also roll with the tides easily and still deliver a good performance, with out it sounding too cheesy like "never give up on your dreams!) and also next, i will talk about how growing up i was appreciative of fashion as an art and how i loved (still do that) reading about the histories (of eras, designers) but also how attracted i am to the industry as well and that i'm artistic with a good mind for business BUT my transition (which i'll put directly after this) isn't that good

This is what i've got, i need to structure it and work on the transitions better, basically link up all i wrote. there may be errors my eye hasn't caught so if you spot something as well.. and also tell me if it sounds cilchčd in some bits and finally how i can make the conclusion longer/ maybe reflect on the experience in the first paragraph

After brainstorming the idea for my grade eleven business class project, my class and I were head with the job of running a small clothing company, selling graphic t-shirts, icecaps, and printed sweatpants. We were to finance, produce, design, and market our products. This task came with many difficulties, starting with managing a class and making us work like a team. After we set up shop and made an impromptu license to operate (it had started out as a school project essentially!) our teacher began the process of building the company's team, which consisted of voting upon the managerial positions and said managers would pick a team to work with, and since this was with out a doubt an idea I was excited and passionate about I got up in front of my class and talked about the vision I had and hoped they'd vote to have me as their head. It was then I learned that not everyone could like what you have to give or they hadn't imagined it going that way, when I lost the vote. Despite being momentarily unhappy about how things went, I wanted my ideas to get through and I wasn't going to let them go to waste so I compromised was made in charge of marketing and artistic directions, it actually proved successful and I had a great time teaching things I know and learning from my team about everything from Photoshop, to the aesthetics we wanted to convey in our ads, and researching fandom references for our original designs. It was through this small situation where I learned to compromise, but not give up on my original ideas and give it every little bit of effort originally intended and it proved successful to the entire business and we made a profit off of it, despite not anticipating any

This is what comes next after what's above, i'm having a hard time connecting both and also please help me with my run-ons becasue i've championed those :)things in blue are things i'm not sure of structure wise

(TRANSITION) fashion had always played an important part in my interests and personality, as I grew up my fascination with it would drift away but fashion has always been a place I come back to due to it's significance. Growing up fashion was this endless fantasy world I would explore for hours on end hours, collecting books about Chanel's legacy and reading articles on Alexander McQueen was, and is a pastime so fun and intriguing to me. I was so appreciative of it as an art, and then, the industry caught my eye, I wanted to feel the energy that came with organizing a fashion show or bringing the next big thing in fashion to life, new faces, brands and collections came and I followed every beat. The fashion industry was one of the first to utilize social media as a marketing tool and I was aware, and attentive trying to implement all of this, with my artistic leaning to fashion in my ideas I would share with my small following online to be involved in any way into fashion.

And when I get the chance to do so and immerse myself into the industry, my goal is to come back with the knowledge and resources I'd have and elevate the entire Middle Eastern fashion industry, from recognizing the beautifully intricate heritage patterns to the changing the regular shopping experience into something better, and unimaginable

After finally realizing my potential as a business person and someone who appreciates fashion immensely, I found fashion merchandising as the perfect fit, and New york city a perfect campus that I could launch myself onto hands on experience, into