Abdulhay
May 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Prospective parents should be required to get licenses to have children. Do you agree or disagree? [3]
Give me all your suggestions about this essay and average band score, please.
IELTS Writing Task 2: Prospective parents should be required to get licenses to have children.
Do you agree or disagree?
Having a child and proceeding new generation is a great responsibility. Some people claim that young married couples should be forced to have a license in order to give a birth for their child while others are in different standpoint. However, I believe that it is essential for prospective parents to get an official document to have a baby. Probability of being ill with serious diseases as well as incapability of providing a child both financially and mentally will prove this.
Obtaining a parenting license before having a kid will lead to the reduction of the number of children who are abused mentally and those who are not being brought up correctly. In the light of early marriage, some couples might not have enough money and experience to provide their child with a good atmosphere to grow up healthy and well-behaved. Despite this, they still want to have a kid. As the result, the quantity of bad-mannered and neglected children is increasing. Hence, prospective parents should go through the background check, parenting classes and then get a license in order to have a child.
Another reason for why parenting license is needed that it also prevents some children to be born with physical defects. Destruction of the ecology and increasing number of drug abuses, alcohol and cigarettes have been creating some serious contagious illnesses which may be passed on the further generation. Therefore, if people go through the medical check and then get permission to have a kid, there will not be such kind of problems.
Following these analysis, it can be concluded that prospective parents should obtain an official document before having a child. I strongly suspect this will lead to increasing number of successful families with physically healthy and mentally developed children.
Give me all your suggestions about this essay and average band score, please.
IELTS Writing Task 2: Prospective parents should be required to get licenses to have children.
Do you agree or disagree?
Having a child and proceeding new generation is a great responsibility. Some people claim that young married couples should be forced to have a license in order to give a birth for their child while others are in different standpoint. However, I believe that it is essential for prospective parents to get an official document to have a baby. Probability of being ill with serious diseases as well as incapability of providing a child both financially and mentally will prove this.
Obtaining a parenting license before having a kid will lead to the reduction of the number of children who are abused mentally and those who are not being brought up correctly. In the light of early marriage, some couples might not have enough money and experience to provide their child with a good atmosphere to grow up healthy and well-behaved. Despite this, they still want to have a kid. As the result, the quantity of bad-mannered and neglected children is increasing. Hence, prospective parents should go through the background check, parenting classes and then get a license in order to have a child.
Another reason for why parenting license is needed that it also prevents some children to be born with physical defects. Destruction of the ecology and increasing number of drug abuses, alcohol and cigarettes have been creating some serious contagious illnesses which may be passed on the further generation. Therefore, if people go through the medical check and then get permission to have a kid, there will not be such kind of problems.
Following these analysis, it can be concluded that prospective parents should obtain an official document before having a child. I strongly suspect this will lead to increasing number of successful families with physically healthy and mentally developed children.