EzraKoenigsDad5
Apr 1, 2016
Undergraduate / 'A4-sized white paper' - transfer - flow of the essay, grammar, word choices, and overall feeling [3]
Hi Kevin,
Overall I liked your creativity and your writing was excellent, but it's not fitting for a transfer essay. Instead, start by talking about why you want to transfer, but be careful not to bash your college. Maintain an optimistic outlook and talk about how your college shaped you, what clubs you were involved in, what classes you liked, etc and give a BRIEF overview. In your next paragraph talk about what you have done since you began college, which is maybe where you can mention your ADHD. Did you participate in any internships? Start a new job? In your next paragraph talk about clubs you were involved in, and if there are clubs that you want to continue doing after you transfer definitely include that! Also talk about clubs that your current college doesn't offer that you want to join when you transfer. Finally, talk about your college's limitations and your career aspirations.
Hi Kevin,
Overall I liked your creativity and your writing was excellent, but it's not fitting for a transfer essay. Instead, start by talking about why you want to transfer, but be careful not to bash your college. Maintain an optimistic outlook and talk about how your college shaped you, what clubs you were involved in, what classes you liked, etc and give a BRIEF overview. In your next paragraph talk about what you have done since you began college, which is maybe where you can mention your ADHD. Did you participate in any internships? Start a new job? In your next paragraph talk about clubs you were involved in, and if there are clubs that you want to continue doing after you transfer definitely include that! Also talk about clubs that your current college doesn't offer that you want to join when you transfer. Finally, talk about your college's limitations and your career aspirations.
