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Posts by vrustagi29
Name: Vaibhav
Joined: Aug 3, 2016
Last Post: Aug 7, 2016
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: india
School: DTU

Displayed posts: 3
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vrustagi29   
Aug 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / The desire of corporations to maximize profits makes conflict with the general welfare of the nation [5]

Hello ichanpants89,

Thank you for your feedback. I will consider it and work on it from next time.

Regarding your feedback, could you please help me in following:

1) Thesis statement is not mentioned:

As per my knowledge, a thesis statement keeps your view and suggest whether you are supporting the argument or not.
So accordingly, I have stated it as my last line in first paragraph.

Could you tell me what can be a better thesis.

2) Conclusion:

I totally agree with you that my conclusion is just restating my whole essay body. Could you please suggest a good statement for conclusion also, so that it will help me in my future essays.

Thanks
vrustagi29   
Aug 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The desire of corporations to maximize profits makes conflict with the general welfare of the nation [5]

Analysis of Issue

The desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations or reading.


Response:

In today's world, desire and necessity of people are increasing day-by-day. However, the rising of greed is not limited to a single individual or a small group of people. It is prevailing to all the small and big organization whose primary motive is only to make more profit either ethically or unethically. Organization's desire for more profit, thereby more money, affected the society at large on various factors such as health problem, Safety issues, increase in corruption. Therefore, I agree with the above assertion that focussing more on profit aspect will develop conflicts with the general welfare of the society and nation at large.

One such horrific scenario was the finding of pesticides in the soft drinks by famous brand Pepsi. In order to make people addicted to their soft drink brand, the company allows the use of pesticides and did not concern about the various health problems that the customers will encounter after the intake the soft drink. Such consumption by the customer often leads to fatal cases and death of the consumer.

Another such scenario is generally been seen in the construction projects where the safety of people at large is neglected just to make more profit. The construction group uses low-quality material and follow less standard practices in order to construct buildings, highway. Due to the use of such low-quality material, these constructions collapsed even in low Richter scale earthquakes, leading to many casualties and deaths. Along with the human loss, the collapse also degrades the current infrastructure and nation's image across the world.

The greediness of organization also gave rise to corruption at large. The higher management people tries to bribe the government officials as well as people who are working for their competitor. These tricks are been done in order to get big government project. This way corruption increases day-by-day and damages the national economy, thereby leads to less growth rate of a nation.

Therefore, the desire for more money through more profit affects the society in various ways and thereby, conflict with the general welfare of society at large.
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